phosfate | (no subject)

(no subject)

Stuff I done that you probably haven't meme:

1. Been sexually harassed by a horse.
2. Informed ghost that it was welcome in the house but not allowed to smoke.
3. Appointed as defense attorney for characters from Lord of the Flies.
4. Had piece of luggage that made X-ray screener lady scream aloud.
5. Broken up on the first date.
6. Been in two car chases. Won both.
7. Stolen lawn flamingos.
8. Squeezed innocent dog's testicles (not on purpose)
9. Broken a dozen large plate-glass windows. With tempera paint.
10. Damaged stranger's automobile with paper kite.

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Put simply: Five or six years old. Flew kite w/brother Billy ("Don't call me Billy!"). Favorable west wind and youthful stupidity combined to make a kite that was yanking fiercely on two full balls of string. Fucker started swooping and diving, and before Bill could pull it more than a few feet back, it plunged straight down and crashed several blocks away, disintegrating. Bill followed the string, winding as he went, and came across an angry and surprised driver whose radio antenna had been suddenly removed by a taut length of Gayla nylon string that appeared from nowhere.

I ran inside screaming, and hid behind the sofa, convinced that we were going to jail.

Wow. Having never flown a kite, I could not have imagined such a thing. Why is it that nylon line can do stuff like that but nylon stockings rip when you look at them funny?

No idea. I've worn nylons maybe five times in my life.

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