phosfate | (no subject)

Severe meltdown Saturday. Which was okay -- at least in the end I finally got some sleep.

After a week of being completely unable to find coffee filters, I used my last one Sunday morning. I walked over to Target, because they always have coffee filters. Except they totally didn't. I am starting to wonder if there was a fire at the coffee filter plant or something. Went next door to the big box grocery, and found a package of 500 for 29 cents, or whatever it goes for. Should last me through the week.

The person next to me was buying a couple hundred bottles of Gatorade. Did you know it comes in blue? I sure didn't. Is the flavor Slushee blue, or antifreeze blue?

The sticker machine had Wonder Pets tattoos. Got hamster and duck. Sadly, did not get the turtle. I like the turtle. He has the crazy eyes.

Figured out that constant exhaustion comes from the twice-daily total muscle lock necessary to keep from falling onto the floor of the bus. The seat is a couple inches too high for my legs to reach the floor, and those guys drive like motherfuckers. They have the crazy eyes, like the turtle. Happily, it annoys them if you say, "Big money big money no whammy!" while feeding money into the moneyvac, or "Yahtzee!" if it accepts your dollar first try without horking it up again.

Fix my car, Matt. Matt. Matt. MATT FIX MY CAR.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*sits by you, falls asleep*

*makes room, grabs another fleecie*

Target usually has those filters with the coffee machines. However, 500 for .29 is still a better deal.

Does it help if I tell you I'm bringing you pressies at MediaWest?

Yes, they usually do. Sadly, they only had the invisible filters. Which I hate, because they fall back behind the icebox and start invisible fires.

PRESSIES! \o/

God almighty. I'm ready to give you my car if this keeps up.

I'm just glad I bought four gallons of milk last week.

Also, I knew Gatorade comes in blue but avoided it on Erma Bombeck's sage advice: "If there is anything blue in the refrigerator, it signifies death."

Also:

The seat is a couple inches too high for my legs to reach the floor

I'm sorry, but that's just...adorable.

/hides

Slurpee blue, sort of. In the G2 version, it's supposed to be blueberry pomegranate now. Ahahahaharight.

...ick.

I would've put it somewhere between slurpee blue and antifreeze blue, myself. ;-)

I totally want to ride the bus with you.
But I am thinking we need the voodoo doll and some long-ass pins to get Matt off his bum. You should not have to slide around the bus-seat like the last crunchy frog in the box.

This morning we got the crap bus with the wraparound advert with Reba McIntyre on it. You can't see out the windows for crap, although the skin does have the benefit of turning any and all bright lights into a butterfly shape.

It was like a really crappy Epcot ride simulating The Cataracts Experience.

Yeah but this version costs LOTS less.

Gawdz, how would Matt take about twenty-'leven random calls asking about your car?
*giggle*

I only ever drink the blue Gatorade. Because then clever people can say to me, "L@@k! You are drinking Blue Gatorade!"

I prefer the duck since she rocks the aviator goggles but I will admit the turtle has the best outfit.

I know the short legs/bus problem. Fortunately, I can fix it by strategically wedging my crutches into the gap between the seats, and using the handles as knee rests.

So, er, break a leg?

I remember blue Powerade. There's a dark blue-slightly purple one that tastes like blackberry juice and is awesome, and a pale blue one that tastes like...blue, and isn't awesome. Guess which one I never see in stores these days.

I tried using my umbrella for support this morning, but I nearly impaled a high-school student.

If I used crutches, the temptation to trip the innocent would be overwhemlming. Zwip! NEVER SEE IT COMING!

"The seat is a couple inches too high for my legs to reach the floor"

I always pictured you as tall! My image of you is shattered ;_; unless the seats were really high off the floor or something. Not that there is anything wrong with not being tall, by the way.

I'm 5'5", but the seats are high. I did figure out that if you go up to the second level (it's a split-level bus), the seats there are human size. So that's a bit better.

Also I once killed a b'ar with a Bowie knife.