*chortles gleefully* OMFG! Classic, just... where can he go from there? He's lived life to its fullest now. How CAN you beat stolen ferrets in your pants?
At the animal shelter where I work, the cages for kittens are kept locked because people have tried to leave with them hidden in purses or clothing. Ferrets are kept behind the main desk, so people have to ask to see them.
"JACKSONVILLE BEACH – Lawmen arrested a homeless man for battery and retail theft after he shoplifted a live ferret from a pet store by stuffing it down his pants, then used it to attack a witness who tried to stop him.
Jacksonville Beach Police say the man, identified as 38-year-old Rodney Tom Bolton, walked into a Pet Supermarket store on Tuesday and stuffed the ferret down the front of his pants, then left the store. The ferret-lifting was observed by a witness, who told store employees about it.
The witness confronted Bolton and tried to get the ferret back, and a fight broke out.
Bolton pulled the ferret out of his pants and used it as a weapon, pointing it at the witness and squeezing it until the ferret became irate and attacked its would-be rescuer.
The witness received two puncture wounds on his ear.
The ferret was uninjured."
Florida, the <strike>Sunshine</strike> Batshit State
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Nah, I can't do it.
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OMFG! Classic, just... where can he go from there? He's lived life to its fullest now. How CAN you beat stolen ferrets in your pants?
*still snirking*
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"JACKSONVILLE BEACH – Lawmen arrested a homeless man for battery and retail theft after he shoplifted a live ferret from a pet store by stuffing it down his pants, then used it to attack a witness who tried to stop him.
Jacksonville Beach Police say the man, identified as 38-year-old Rodney Tom Bolton, walked into a Pet Supermarket store on Tuesday and stuffed the ferret down the front of his pants, then left the store. The ferret-lifting was observed by a witness, who told store employees about it.
The witness confronted Bolton and tried to get the ferret back, and a fight broke out.
Bolton pulled the ferret out of his pants and used it as a weapon, pointing it at the witness and squeezing it until the ferret became irate and attacked its would-be rescuer.
The witness received two puncture wounds on his ear.
The ferret was uninjured."
Florida, the <strike>Sunshine</strike> Batshit State
Florida, however, embraces all its batshit, be it conservative, liberal, religious, apolitical, or the kind that hides ferrets in its pants.
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