Bringing in the Groceries, a play by Ann.

[phosfate]

Ann is bringing in bags of groceries, while Mom hunts around for the little rock they use to prop the back door open when grocery-shifting.

Mom: I can't find that little...brickie thing. I think [the Burly Man Who Shovels Driveways for Money] shoveled it off into the snow.

Ann: What?!? Oh, my God! Brickie!

She drops the last bag on the floor.

Mom: I don't see it.

Ann: BRICKIEEEEEEEE!!!

Mom: It'll turn up.

Ann: No! WHY BRICKIE WHY!

Ann grabs the grain shovel from its spot beside the door.

Ann: C'mon, Trigger! You gotta help me find Brickie!

She uses Trigger to slice into the pile of snow.

Ann: Hang on, Brickie! Hang on, baby, we're coming! C'mon, Trigger, find him, boy. Atta boy. Atta--

*KLONG!*

Ann: BRICKIE! Oh God, please be okay!

She falls to her knees and digs bare-handed into the snow.

Ann: I'm coming, Brickie! Mommy's here! Oh, God, the cold burns...BRICKIE!!! I found you!

She pulls a large rock out of the snow and returns it (and Trigger) to its rightful spot on the stoop. Then she rushes inside and goes into a strange squat on the kitchen floor, frozen hand between her legs.

Mom: Little cold there?

Ann: It was worth it. It was worth it for Brickie.

Mom: All righty.

Comments

[ex-mommybir.livejournal.com]

This really made my day. Honestly. I swear it.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Funny, yes. But, ah, nothing tops the vacuum cleaner telemarketer story. That's an annual Christmas tale.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

Yeah. It's like A Christmas Memory without the grinding poverty.

This just makes me miss Jean Shepherd even more

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

Vacuum cleaner telemarker story???

Could you tell that story for the deprived among us who missed it? :) (sincere face on)

Re: This just makes me miss Jean Shepherd even more

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Check telemarketer torure

Re: This just makes me miss Jean Shepherd even more

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

Oh God.

Yes, Ann, i always knew you were something. Else.

*snort*

[vvsavagevv.livejournal.com]

Ah yes... I had to share that one with a new friend this year (not new to me but new to the antics of Ann). ; ))

[http://users.livejournal.com/_redpanda_/]

I love you.

[snacky]

Dude, you and your mom need to get your act together and take it on the road. There's cold hard cash to be made from these antics.

[ahli.livejournal.com]

You are the best human ever.

[gkkstitch.livejournal.com]

Splortlaugh*spewpop*laughgaspsnerk

[oliveoyl.livejournal.com]

My God. You rule.

You saved BRICKIE!

[viccivarner.livejournal.com]

Thank the gods there are people with your dedication in the world.

I am still giggling.

*sporfle*

[danakate.livejournal.com]

You rock. ;D Er...brick.

Re: *sporfle*

[sagralisse.livejournal.com]

*choke* [gasp] [wheeze]

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Perfection.

When's the DVD coming out?

[vvsavagevv.livejournal.com]

I worship you sometimes. : ]

[shyday.livejournal.com]

heh. i see why you have your very own LJ community devoted to you. entertainment for the masses. ;)

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

Sweetie!

*waves excitedly at n*

Ann is entertainment!

[shyday.livejournal.com]

so i've come to understand. :)

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

Brickie Lives!

(Which should be the mantra of the decade scrawled in students' notebooks everywhere. I didn't know what "Frodo Lives!" meant till I got to college.)

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Yay Brickie backie!(-:

[respndines.livejournal.com]

HAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH.

Brickie: A Christmas Tale

[pollyannadesade.livejournal.com]

Ah, that was fantastic. It deserves to be commemorated with Olivia de Havilland and Myrna Loy in the lead roles. With Clark Gable as Brickie.

<3

[ramalama.livejournal.com]

I can't stop loving you.