(no subject)

[phosfate]

Stuff I done that you probably haven't meme:

1. Been sexually harassed by a horse.
2. Informed ghost that it was welcome in the house but not allowed to smoke.
3. Appointed as defense attorney for characters from Lord of the Flies.
4. Had piece of luggage that made X-ray screener lady scream aloud.
5. Broken up on the first date.
6. Been in two car chases. Won both.
7. Stolen lawn flamingos.
8. Squeezed innocent dog's testicles (not on purpose)
9. Broken a dozen large plate-glass windows. With tempera paint.
10. Damaged stranger's automobile with paper kite.

Comments

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

Now I want to hear the stories behind these. Particularly the luggage one

[amanda-now.livejournal.com]

I'd love to hear about #4

[spinooti.livejournal.com]

We are all in agreement re: the luggage story.

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

I really wanna hear the kite story, myself.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Put simply: Five or six years old. Flew kite w/brother Billy ("Don't call me Billy!"). Favorable west wind and youthful stupidity combined to make a kite that was yanking fiercely on two full balls of string. Fucker started swooping and diving, and before Bill could pull it more than a few feet back, it plunged straight down and crashed several blocks away, disintegrating. Bill followed the string, winding as he went, and came across an angry and surprised driver whose radio antenna had been suddenly removed by a taut length of Gayla nylon string that appeared from nowhere.

I ran inside screaming, and hid behind the sofa, convinced that we were going to jail.

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

Wow. Having never flown a kite, I could not have imagined such a thing. Why is it that nylon line can do stuff like that but nylon stockings rip when you look at them funny?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

No idea. I've worn nylons maybe five times in my life.

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

Why lawn flamingos?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I don't really know. We were snotty teenagers, and for some reason we really hated those particular lawn flamingos.

[snacky]

You win, Ann.

They're trying to breed a Kennedy that can take a bullet.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It's all in the delivery.

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

Did the ghost listen?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

He seems to have cut back, at least.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It was susanmgarrett's dad's fox terrier, Diego. He would always bunk with me when I stayed with her. I tended to wake up for a few seconds around 5:00 a.m., to roll over or curse birds, and would reach over and give Diego's paw a squeeze. 'Cause, y'know, doggy.

Unfortunately, the last time I visited, I reached over for his paw, squeezed, vaguely registered the absence of crunching toenails, and came fully awake when Diego made an astonished and indignant what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-lady noise.

He left the room in a hurry, and was understandably cross with me for the rest of the visit, and very likely his life.

My only excuse is that Saddam Hussein had started shooting rockets at Jerusalem the night before, and I was off my game.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I miss Diego.

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

Weeeeeelll, that's good. Sometimes that's the first step.

Well, ya got me beat on 8.5 of 'em...

[cannellfan.livejournal.com]

...but I have stolen somebody's lawn flamingos. Of course, I was probably 10 at the time, and it was just to put 'em in somebody else's yard 10 blocks away, but...

And does injuring a friend by slamming one of those plastic bat-wing kites into them in a steep dive come close to counting towards #10?

P.S.: Loved the dog-squeezing explanation! ;-)

Re: Well, ya got me beat on 8.5 of 'em...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

And does injuring a friend by slamming one of those plastic bat-wing kites into them in a steep dive come close to counting towards #10?

AFAIC, it's better.

Poor Diego. He was a good doggie.