in which Ann is taught a lesson

[phosfate]

Mom is in huge pain, and it's all because of spite.

She's pulled a muscle in her lower back. One of those really painful things that makes her shriek every time she moves. After becoming thoroughly fed up with me running into the room every time she turned the page in a book, she finally said, "Look. Just ignore me. If I actually need you, I will say Oh God oh God come help me quick. If I just scream, I'm fine. Okay?" "All righty." This made trying to sleep interesting for all the household, but I digress.

Somewhere in the middle of House, she said, "I know when I did this! It was when I took that damn laundry basket down the stairs."

"You mean the one I wanted to carry for you because it was heavy and awkward?"

"Yes. The one I pulled down one stair at a time."

"When it would have been much simply to just let me carry it?"

"Yes. But I could see it was really ticking you off that I had it, so I decided to do it myself."

"So this is entirely your own fault?"

"Well, yes."

"You sure showed me!"

"I sure did."

Comments

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

You dun been showed!

Geez. No carrot candy for her!!!!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

This morning: "Just so you know, there's a paper clip on the floor that I'll never be able to pick up."

[oulangi.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, the "I'm still just as mobile/strong/pretty as I was before the stroke/before you were born/when I was 17 routine" - I know it well! After my mum managed to light the curtains on fire and tumble down the stairs twice I simply threatened to buy a Rascal scooter and duct tape her to it unless she agreed to accept help.

Then of course I left the country.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

In her head, I am apparently 7. She is amazed by my ability to carry grocery bags, and has spent the last two weeks praising me for fixing the garage door all by myself.

Leaving the country? THAT WAS THE THING I FORGOT! Damn.

[oulangi.livejournal.com]

I find leaving the country is an effect way to end just about any argument:

"Eat your carrots!"

"No!"

"Eat your carrots NOW!"

*moves to Los Angeles where carrots are considered high in sugar & fattening, up there with bread as an eating faux pas*

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

I have said it before and I shall reiterate: I love your mom.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

This is your life in 40 years. Just so you know.

[fingolfin.livejournal.com]

my mom, who has a chronic and very painful back injury, is in her backyard weeding a sea of dandylions when i happen upon her:

me: uhm, why are you doing that?
her: cause it needs to be done!
me: no, no it doesnt. and even if it did, havent you had many offers of help for stuff like this?
her: well, yes. but they might miss one.
me: wouldnt it be easier to pull the one they missed, then to pull them all?
her: *glare* *weed* *weed* *weed*

parents make the most obstinate children

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*glare* *weed* *weed* *weed*

...Now that's just eerie. "Why don't I move that incredibly heavy object?" "I've GOT IT!" "I'm closer. I'm touching it right now." "GET YOUR MITTS OFF OF THAT NOW!" "'kay."