Dear Danny Butterman: Your movies suck.

[phosfate]

Watched Die Hard last night, in preparation for a story I'm theoretically writing. Apart from Alan Rickman's rather delightful scenery chewing (om nom nom), it was a tedious piece of bloated crap. I'm glad I didn't pay theater money to see it back in the day, since it would only have helped to kill my love of movies that much sooner. Also, hi there James Shigeta, you are always awesome.

I did like the bit where Bruce, Alan, and stupid exec are all on the phone, and Bruce is trying to save exec's life and exec is too stupid to figure it out.

I can't help but thinking that if Bruce hadn't been there, the robbers would have stolen their crap, blown up some shit, and left. Much lower body count and less property damage.

Still, a more watchable holiday movie than The Christmas Shoes.

Comments

[swankyfunk.livejournal.com]

You ain't seen Die Hard before??

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

No.

[swankyfunk.livejournal.com]

I think you'll learn to love it.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*cries*

[goddessdster.livejournal.com]

All right, Nicholas, what else is on the list?

Though I do agree that Danny's taste in movies is tremendously terrible (Bad Boys II?), Die Hard has many fine qualities if you're willing to turn your brain off.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

...I don't know how. ;_;

[ashenmote.livejournal.com]

I saw it for the first time this year too!

I would like to add the disgruntled and incompetent presence of Mr. Vernham Paul Gleason to the list of plus sides to the movie, but maybe I am biased.

Much lower body count and less property damage.

See, you say that like it is a good thing.

[swankyfunk.livejournal.com]

This should help:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTyw6cq86kY

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

Another small plus: Reggie Vel Johnson as the doughnut-loving cop, a character he essentially recreated in Family Matters. And Rickman is mighty elegant when he chews scenery.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

See, you say that like it is a good thing.

Ohhhhhhhh, right.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I...when he tearfully filled the Villain Who Just Won't Die full of lead, despite his Issues With Guns, I...I'm afraid I giggled.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

(I have to wait 'til I get home to watch it.)

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

That's better than my reaction, which was to Feel Thoroughly Disgusted. Yeah, a man who can pump lead is a Real, Healthy Man!

[goddessdster.livejournal.com]

See? Fine qualities this movie has...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Well, there was that, too.

Somehow I imagine him eating his revolver under the Christmas tree the next morning.

[goddessdster.livejournal.com]

THAT WAS AWESOME!
(and pretty much all you need to watch, in lieu of the movies themselves)

[twigcollins.livejournal.com]

it was a tedious piece of bloated crap.

D :

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

Only if it was covered with powdered sugar.

[ide-cyan.livejournal.com]

They were planning on blowing up all the hostages already to cover their tracks, but it'd have been a neater sort of carnage if they'd gotten away with it. I think maybe a couple fewer responding cops might have been killed overall.

I've seen Die Hard several times on TV; I think it's rewatchable, obviously, but I don't especially love it. It's overlong, the FBI stuff is just plain obnoxious, and all the good bits are scattered amid an unremarkable police/action drama. I don't think Alan Rickman is that interesting in it, either; Bruce Willis does better playing McClane's frazzled, improbably resourceful supercop. I haven't seen the second movie in the series all the way through. I might borrow it from the library one of these days, out of completism. And the fourth, most recent movie in the series is about three orders of magnitude [building or city to state to country] more bloated than the original: it throws the whole USA into chaos in order to have a series of localised hypertrophied action sequences centered on McClane & co.

I really love the third Die Hard (With A Vengeance), though. It's got problems (like, really, making it a point of attacking the black guy's prejudices against white people?) and it's quite (sometimes ridiculously) contrived, but it's pretty nearly only full of the fun bits. And Jeremy Irons is a more flamboyant villain, and he gets undressed down to a shoulder-baring camisole too.

[swankyfunk.livejournal.com]

It is indeed awesome! The ultra-condensed summaries are great. I can imagine this being Danny Butterman's favorite music video ever.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Ah, Alan Rickman. How I love him when he chews the scenery. I figure Rickman knew he was in a dumbass movie and decided to enjoy himself - and his paycheck.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Plus it stops his teeth growing into his brain.

[goddessdster.livejournal.com]

Oh...I thought that was in Robin Hood...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It's a pattern.

[viedma.livejournal.com]

Most of the joy of Die Hard comes in kicking the living crap out of it.

Also, who has a Xmas party on Dec. 24? That above anything else is the most unrealistic thing.