phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (You've RUINED CHRISTMAS by cybertardis)
john: do you think angry birds is actually anti-martian police officer?

me: Um...the hell are you talking about? Oh, the green pigs?

john: yes

me: Ah.I think it merely seeks to express the eternal conflict between bird and pig in a miniature format. A microcosm of the greater macrocosm, as it were. Much in the same way Wacky Races depicted the neverending race of evolution, a race that can never be won, yet is mandatory for all life. Or the way that Yogi Bear depicts the societal stresses that occur when authority defends the privileged class against those who have little legal means of obtaining necessary resources.

john: I thought Yogi just really liked picnic baskets

me: John. John. You've got to look for the bigger picture.

john: :( this philosophy is too deep for a hamster

me: You're gonna need more college if you really want to learn how to lay on the bullshit, son. Consider Rudolph, and its depiction of 20th-Century American masculinity. Donner and cohorts are depicted as the elite, but when it comes down to it, do they really have agency? They compete for a place in harness!

john: maybe it's a bondage thing

me: All right. Rudolph as a sexual text, then. The male reindeer see themselves as wholesome family men. But their real purpose is to be lashed together, 'pulling the train' for Santa. Their deepest, most important bonds are with one another, not their mates. But if one suggested such a thing, they would be horrified -- even murderous.

john: !!

me: Think of them as a pro football team.

john: ohhh

me: All their work time spent in intimate contact. Their off time concerned with demonstrating their heteronormative masculinity. To the point where society covertly endorses their acts of violence, especially those against women. Their personal power is harnessed and therefore acceptable. Though none of the reindeer will ever be allowed an administrative role, and reindeer who actively demonstrate awareness or difference are shunned and scapegoated. Santa is always in charge, John.

john: the man in red

me: The man.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Default)

Simon Pegg peg people by ~giddygirlie on deviantART

This was my present from [livejournal.com profile] violetinbloom and [livejournal.com profile] viedma. I WIN CHRISTMAS!

I didn't hurriedly correct violet's username there or anything. Shut up.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Hot Fuzz snuggles by iconsbycurtana)
"It was almost like a Dickens Christmas, except for the naked vampires."

[livejournal.com profile] anam71 wrote a really, really, really, really funny Hot Fuzz Christmas story over this-a-ways: http://community.livejournal.com/sandfordpolice/477491.html
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (You've RUINED CHRISTMAS by cybertardis)
We are eating gingerbread men and quoting Shrek at each other. "Yes, I know the Muffin man."
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Power Girl ponders)
The amazing Supergirl, from [livejournal.com profile] crantz. She's a bit yellow in the photo, since there aren't green bulbs for the overhead light in the dining room. Yet.



ETA: Wait. That's the bathroom, with the tile. It does have green bulbs, but they're outnumbered.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Hot Fuzz want monkey want monkey)
Christmas toy spam begins. First, for [livejournal.com profile] tawg, here's Puppet Nicholas:



He lives in the umbrella stand with Clown Puppet now.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Default)
The thaw...the temperature hit 65 today, and that's what saved us.

Everyone listen: Slankets cannot tolerate the heat. It will destroy them.

If you own a slanket, put it in your oven, set to broil, or trick it into taking a hot bath.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Default)
Oh dear God, the Slankets are...someone help us!
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (You've RUINED CHRISTMAS by cybertardis)
Spent Christmas Eve (virtually) with [livejournal.com profile] crantz online and on phone, and the rest of the world via text and email. He rang up to hear me open my present, which was a Tonner Supergirl doll and she is beautiful and you can't have her and she's like a Red Ryder BB Gun only better and OMG. Kept hanging up on him because I kept dropping the phone or squishing the disconnect button with my face. Also squealing.

Brother and fam did a driveby the office with a really amazing flan (those of us on paperweight duty ate it alllllllllllllllll up, along with, for some reason, snap peas), and a handknit hat that is the only knit hat I've ever owned that didn't immediately spring off my head like one of those jumping bug toys. It is a rather lovely shade of chocolate with powder blue stripeys.

Mary and Vali sent me a policeman officer puppet, who is of course named Puppet Nicholas. Diana sent caramels made by nuns. Nuns really, really like shrinkwrap. Who knew? They also make damn fine caramels.

Woke up with sugar and gleeshrieking hangover. Took all my willpower to escape the clutches of the Slanket. Slanket may turn out to be one of those bits of technology that suddenly everyone on the planet adopts, then the Doctor has to come save us all from being absorbed and enslaved. Mmm, Slanket.

Carnival of Souls is perhaps not the best choice for a Christmas movie. But boy, is it awesome on a stick.

Sang "God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen" in the shower, in the style of Frank Sinatra.

What's that, Slanket? Return to your unholy embrace? But...but...it's suppertimOW! Yes, Slanket. Immediately, Slanket.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Believe in magic OR I'LL KILL YOU by ico)
How NORAD Tracks Santa
http://blog.wired.com/cars/2008/12/norad-keeps-the.html
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (My legs are off and I'm on fire by swank)
I has a Slanket. :D

Thank you, mystery person, if you're reading this.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (You've RUINED CHRISTMAS by cybertardis)
Watched Die Hard last night, in preparation for a story I'm theoretically writing. Apart from Alan Rickman's rather delightful scenery chewing (om nom nom), it was a tedious piece of bloated crap. I'm glad I didn't pay theater money to see it back in the day, since it would only have helped to kill my love of movies that much sooner. Also, hi there James Shigeta, you are always awesome.

I did like the bit where Bruce, Alan, and stupid exec are all on the phone, and Bruce is trying to save exec's life and exec is too stupid to figure it out.

I can't help but thinking that if Bruce hadn't been there, the robbers would have stolen their crap, blown up some shit, and left. Much lower body count and less property damage.

Still, a more watchable holiday movie than The Christmas Shoes.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Epcot Food and Wine Festival)


Clicky for bigger.

The dolls and dollhouse are Christmas ornaments. The whole house is maybe 3" wide. Wombat, my Orientdoll So Ji, is 4.5" tall and uses it as her dollhouse.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Hot Fuzz stop writing by lightningbird)
Another vaguely Christmassy fic. Which is weird, since I started it in July, when Flash Gordon got re-released on DVD.

TITLE: Celt Teffnan Against the World Crime League
FANDOM: Hot Fuzz
AUTHOR: annlarimer
WORD COUNT: 2,300
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: "Whoah. Who's Celt Teffnan?"
WARNINGS: American spelling, offensive snap judgments about movies you like.
DISCLAIMER: They don't belong to me, as you know.
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.


Monday is the day new videos are released. They "street," in advertising parlance, but Nicholas Angel finds this abuse of an innocent English noun unconscionable. Videos might be released, distributed, put on sale, or even set free to live among their own kind in the wild, but when they street, his whole being objects, right down to his fillings. moar )
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (You've RUINED CHRISTMAS by cybertardis)
Oh, thank Christ that's over with.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Hot Fuzz HONK by Ilmadris)
We have a new store in town called Bad Robot(!), which specializes in things like Stickfas, Labbits, Munnys, gift books, and an interesting assortment of handmade goods, all with an emphasis on DIY and nostalgic SF. I went down there at lunchtime and got my Christmas present -- a nice new Munny. ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munny or http://www.kidrobot.com/html/munny3/index.html ) How to paint him?

Each Munny comes packed with a coloring book, a HI MY NAME IS tag, and a sealed bag of 'secret' accessories. The first one I got (done earlier this year as old-skool Ms Marvel) came with a sword, a briefcase, and a bowler hat.

New Munny came with a bow tie (meh), a skateboard (whatever), an oversize pencil (hm), and...a policeman's peaked cap.

Well, that's solved, then.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (What would Snacky do by ropo)


Don't forget Part II, New Year's Eve!
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (black books which one of you bitches wan)
Went out to get work presents last night, spent an hour in the store, got to the cashier, and realized I had neglected to bring money or cards. Fuck. Went home, got money and cards, drove back, bailed out presents, went back to car, couldn't find car keys, went back inside to the service desk to ask if I'd left keys, found keys in coat pocket (underneath paperback book) just as I was about to say the word "keys," was told by clerk that I should really go home. Couldn't argue.

As a result of this and the massively icy streets, I am really quite unusually jumpy today. Decided to take a Valium with my milk. Forgot to open milk bottle before putting pill on tongue. Never good. Burns. Was then startled by something, slopped milk into open bottle of pills. Rescued most of them, but boy, that stuff is really absorbent. At least next time, I'll be getting extra calcium with my mellow. Or possibly e coli.

We did presents at work, and I am now well supplied with truffles, cocoa, and Starbucks. This should help improve my quality of life until the Sun comes back.

Dick Blick is having a nice clearance on art crap. I came out with a big Bristol pad, a box of stamp carving blocks, a Korean school notebook (quad), and a Moleskine city notebook (Dublin) for around $15. "Ooo! Are you going to Dublin?" "No."

You know what doesn't help my nerves? The goddamned Salvation Army bell ringers. STOP IT. Just carry air horns and be done with it.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (hot fuzz sharing monkey by crantz)
TITLE: Christmas Number One
FANDOM: Hot Fuzz
AUTHOR: annlarimer
WORD COUNT: 1500. Ish.
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: "Nicholas! Nicholas! It shows how to do flesh rotting off a skull. And oh my God, werewolf Nazis!"
WARNINGS: Jesus Christ, it's a Christmas story! GET IN THE CAR!
DISCLAIMER: Obviously not mine.
NOTES: There's no American cultural equivalent of the Christmas Number One. It's a bit like being the winner of the annual Fourth of July weekend box-office competition (hint for wagerers: it's probably got Will Smith in it), but it's not really the same thing. Mr Wikipedia gives a good overview: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_number_one_single . The statistically inclined can find a list of Christmas Number Ones here: http://www.everyhit.co.uk/christmasnumber1.html
I also forgot to credit [livejournal.com profile] crantz for the original prompt, because I have a memory like a steel seive.
ARCHIVE: Please ask first.


"Nicholas."

He was dreaming about the church roof, preparing to fly off it. "Nr." more )

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