phosfate

https://linktr.ee/annlairms

And started a Patreon, which is free. Come visit the deeply stupid TOS stickers.

Return to the Planet Where Everybody Was Gangsters!!! (764 words) by Phosfate
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: James T. Kirk, Spock (Star Trek), Gangsters - Character
Additional Tags: Pronoun Trouble, Episode Sequel, badfic, Crack, Not the MediaWest Program Guide, Chairs, Hats, Yeoman Rand is not in this story, Captain James T. Kirk - Freeform, Mr Spock - Freeform, Gangsters, the starship Enterprise - Freeform, crackfic, vintage fic, Parody, wow that's some good writin' there, the Devil - Freeform, Episode: s02e20 A Piece of the Action, Yeoman Rand is a woman, Even though they call her Yeoman, Starfleet, this is it this is the one they'll remember me for, blast from the past
Summary:

Remember the planet where everybody was gangsters? They go back.

Currently reading The Autobiography of James T. Kirk on my phone. Normally I would not even admit to this, because it is actually worse than it sounds and is mainly an exercise in finding Easter eggs for TAS fans.

So, this is not a recommendation. I am only telling you this because at one point the Guardian of Forever is described as a big donut. You need to know that.

Title: Sure, My Name Is Khan
Authors: Rosencrantz, Phosfate
Fandom: Star Trek: Into Darkness
Rating: G
Length: 1160 words
Summary: Spock Prime reads a newspaper, hijinks ensue.


Read here or at AO3

( An epilogue to Star Trek: Into Darkness, but before the actual end )

TITLE: Drabble: Have You Considered Not Having Creative Pursuits? The long-anticipated sequel to "The OC." In color.
AUTHORS: annlarimer and rosencrantz (crantz to you)
FANDOM: Hot Fuzz/NuTrek
WORD COUNT: 100. Because it's a drabble. DRABBLE NERD SAYS WHAT?
RATING: PG.
WARNINGS: Stupidity
DISCLAIMER: Hot Fuzz belongs to the boys and girls at Rogue and Big Talk and their friends. Star Trek belongs to...Paramount, right?



"I canna change the laws of -- wait, apparently I can."

"This is biology, not physics,” McCoy replied.

"What do I tell Ensign Dairyman? SERIOUSLY HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN? THIS SHITE IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE HOW'S IT GOING TO GET OUT WHAT IF IT'S AN ALIEN I CAN'T STOP TALKING--“

McCoy pressed a hyposedative against Scotty’s neck.

“Thank...you...”

***

"Danny, what are you writing?"

"Nuffink!"

"Danny, delete this entire story!"

"You ain’t the boss of me!"

"I am, actually."

"Not at home! Now bugger off, I got to write the labour scene"

Nicholas paused. "Have you considered not having creative pursuits?"

(Awesome Nicholas and Danny keychains made by mechturtle, who is awesome.)

ecto_gammat asked how to make a Tribble:



Click for biggerer. Full-size image is quite large, so you can read/print it. Feel free to ask for clarification of instructions/handwriting decipherage. Yes, they really are that easy to make. I'd put beanie pellets/shot/whatever in the bottom for weight, but it all depends on what sort of feel you want.

TITLE: Drabble: The O.C.
FANDOM: Hot Fuzz/NuTrek
WORD COUNT: 100. Because it's a drabble. DRABBLE NERD SAYS WHAT?
RATING: G. Wait. What?
DISCLAIMER: Hot Fuzz belongs to the boys and girls at Rogue and Big Talk and their friends. Star Trek belongs to...it still belongs to Paramount, right? The important thing is, neither of them are mine.
PROPS: To viedma 'cause it was her idea.


Ensign Manny Dairyman knew, when he looked across the briefing table into Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott’s eyes, that his transfer to the Engineering section of the U.S.S. Enterprise would change not just his career, but his whole life.

Nicholas came up behind him. “Ready?”

“Nothin’!” Danny hit the little X at the top right of the screen. “Just e-mail. You ready?”

“You really want Star Trek again?”

“Nothing else on,” Danny said casually.

Was that suspicion in Nicholas’ eyes? “True.”

Surely nothing escaped Scotty’s brilliant gaze – surely not Dairyman’s sudden surge of emotion…

I gotta remember that, thought Danny. Brilliant.

Shatnerquake is disappointing, but for incredibly stupid reasons. The writing isn't very good. And when I say that, I mean that the punctuation and sentence structure could be vastly improved by a simple Word spell- and grammarcheck. Or a mildly competent human editor. And -- this will sound insane, but when you open the book, you'll see it immediately -- the typesetting is godawful. Disproportionately huge paragraph indents that actually make the pages difficult to read.

It's a damn shame, because the story itself is quite funny (yes, T.J. Hooker does cling to the hood of a speeding vehicle). With a good polish it could be a minor cult jewel. Instead, the reader spends a lot of time deciphering the sentences before being able to read them. It reminds me of when I used to try to watch A Bit of Fry and Laurie on Bravo, scrambled (it was on the next cable tier up, and we didn't subscribe). "I bet that would have been really funny," I would think, "if I had actually seen it."

All that said, as satires of sci-fi fandom go, still a better read than Lee Goldberg's dire Beyond the Beyond. And the jacket painting is pretty awesome.

Why the original "Star Trek" still matters

"A person interested in those things was, prima facie, not interested in Donny Osmond or "Happy Days," had conceivably read a book not required by teachers and furthermore could plausibly have access to decent weed."
http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/btm/feature/2009/05/13/star_trek_original/