phosfate

Usually outside has all kinds of nifty Easter eggs. Like, Saturday I got the neverending battle between mallhawk and blackbirds, and a couple of feral cats, and the usual bunnies and squirrels and those things that look like giant flying pornstaches. Some kinda carrion bird they re-introduced, I dunno.

Today, I got ant swarms. Three, in different places. Two were horizontal ant rivers along stretches of sidewalk. The third was this massive pile of ants by the minimart, and looked like the deluge in that silent Noah's ark film that's supposed to have drowned a bunch of extras.

I don't like to be all judgy about nature, but I really do not approve of swarms of things.

So, crappy night. The bus ticket thing ate my 30-day pass. The driver helpfully told me to "Call the office." I'm nearly run over by another bus when I'm in the crosswalk. So I'm now Queen of Sullen and really not in the mood for anything except maybe a limesicle and some Pokemon White (no offense). I walk up the drive to the back door, and something catches my eye and I look up and there's some kind of GIANT FUCKING REDPANDA HELLCAT THING --


"S'up."

--sitting in the robins' old nest on top of the lamp. Which I haven't cleaned out because the robins may come back and need a place to crash, and I have no problem with them as long as they don't go for the eyes. Which sometimes they do but I've learned to keep the storm door between me and them when I have to take the garbage out. ANYWAY, it's an owl.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHoh I'm so sorry," I said. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Hi."
It looked at me.
"How's it going? I live here. Well, inside. It's nice to see you."
It turned its head, and delicately barfed up what appeared to be a very large Milk Dud.
"Thanks for that. Anyway, I hope I didn't scare you. What, did you eat something and now you're digesting, or...?"
It looked back at me.
"None of my business, really." I pulled out my phone, slowly. "I don't know much about owls. I'm just gonna take your picture if that's okay. Thanks. Stay as long as you like. I'm going in now."
It looked at me more.
"I'm Ann, by the way." I opened the door.
Apparently owls do not like doors, and it flew off toward Edie's house.
"Aw, goddammit!"
Disappointed, I stumble in with my bag and phone and giant-ass parka, and the phone's ringing. "Cock! Cock! Cock! Hello?"
"Hi! This is Congressman Jeff Fortenberry, and I'd like to invite you to a telephone Town Hall Meeting--"
"GET BENT, FORTENBERRY!"
But it was only a recording.
I hope the owl comes back.

Bookcase completed. Pig installation completed. Books loading.

Just witnessed West Side Story as directed by Alfred Hitchcock, starring 500 sparrows and six grackles warring in a parking lot over something that might once have been a hamburger bun.

The grackles won. The songs were terrible.

Actual photo of exploding methane bubble, which destroyed the gulf coast on Saturday night.

Animated strip club neon. This is one of the few extant bits of neon from my childhood, and instills feelings of both nostalgia and repulsion now. As far as I can tell, it is never turned off.

Its body is as big as a nickel.