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picspam: Scholarly. >.>
Jun. 4th, 2010 04:16 pmMe, I dreamt of real cream and tried to ignore the guy across the aisle with the sandals and itchy feet. I don't mean metaphorically itchy.
(no subject)
May. 4th, 2009 10:21 amSevere meltdown Saturday. Which was okay -- at least in the end I finally got some sleep.
After a week of being completely unable to find coffee filters, I used my last one Sunday morning. I walked over to Target, because they always have coffee filters. Except they totally didn't. I am starting to wonder if there was a fire at the coffee filter plant or something. Went next door to the big box grocery, and found a package of 500 for 29 cents, or whatever it goes for. Should last me through the week.
The person next to me was buying a couple hundred bottles of Gatorade. Did you know it comes in blue? I sure didn't. Is the flavor Slushee blue, or antifreeze blue?
The sticker machine had Wonder Pets tattoos. Got hamster and duck. Sadly, did not get the turtle. I like the turtle. He has the crazy eyes.
Figured out that constant exhaustion comes from the twice-daily total muscle lock necessary to keep from falling onto the floor of the bus. The seat is a couple inches too high for my legs to reach the floor, and those guys drive like motherfuckers. They have the crazy eyes, like the turtle. Happily, it annoys them if you say, "Big money big money no whammy!" while feeding money into the moneyvac, or "Yahtzee!" if it accepts your dollar first try without horking it up again.
Fix my car, Matt. Matt. Matt. MATT FIX MY CAR.
After a week of being completely unable to find coffee filters, I used my last one Sunday morning. I walked over to Target, because they always have coffee filters. Except they totally didn't. I am starting to wonder if there was a fire at the coffee filter plant or something. Went next door to the big box grocery, and found a package of 500 for 29 cents, or whatever it goes for. Should last me through the week.
The person next to me was buying a couple hundred bottles of Gatorade. Did you know it comes in blue? I sure didn't. Is the flavor Slushee blue, or antifreeze blue?
The sticker machine had Wonder Pets tattoos. Got hamster and duck. Sadly, did not get the turtle. I like the turtle. He has the crazy eyes.
Figured out that constant exhaustion comes from the twice-daily total muscle lock necessary to keep from falling onto the floor of the bus. The seat is a couple inches too high for my legs to reach the floor, and those guys drive like motherfuckers. They have the crazy eyes, like the turtle. Happily, it annoys them if you say, "Big money big money no whammy!" while feeding money into the moneyvac, or "Yahtzee!" if it accepts your dollar first try without horking it up again.
Fix my car, Matt. Matt. Matt. MATT FIX MY CAR.
(no subject)
Apr. 16th, 2009 09:49 amMassive long technicolor dream about invading insectoid aliens. They could be thwarted with coffee and the color black. Also featured the Avengers (dressed in white, for some reason, even the Scarlet Witch) and, for some reason, Vince Noir. His pipecleaner legs are fucking haunting my dreams.
Then it had deleted scenes, including a cameo by Steve Martin that was deemed much too graphic, what with the bugs ripping him limb from limb on camera. "The studio demanded we keep this a PG-13."
Then it had deleted scenes, including a cameo by Steve Martin that was deemed much too graphic, what with the bugs ripping him limb from limb on camera. "The studio demanded we keep this a PG-13."
(no subject)
Jul. 9th, 2008 01:52 pmThe lunchtime band in the park was a group of twelve-year-olds called Academy of Rock. They did a cover of "Back in Black" that may possibly be the greatest thing I've ever heard. Especially since the lead singer's voice has not yet changed.
I spilled a cup of coffee all over my desk. I have a new keyboard and mouse now. Sadly, my cube smells like a Tim Horton's.
I spilled a cup of coffee all over my desk. I have a new keyboard and mouse now. Sadly, my cube smells like a Tim Horton's.
(no subject)
Mar. 1st, 2007 04:03 pmSnow. Schools closed. University closed. IR-fucking-S closed. Are we closed? Hells no!
Slogged out at 7:45 to find a bus. Found bus. Bus was stuck in snow. "I've been here for an hour. We're kinda low on the list. Come in and get warm, anyway." Sat in unmoving bus for half an hour, calling office from mobile to see if anybody else had even turned up. Saw blind man picking his way through snow w/cane.
Thanked nice bus driver, went back home to make coffee and attempt shoveling. Footprints made half-hour earlier were already filled in. Alternated between 500 pounds snow and half-episode of Dead Like Me. Got the driftiest bits of the drive done, decided I couldn't stand being in the goddamn house anymore without punching Mandy Patinkin through the video screen. Poured remainder of coffee in Jar-Jar Binks travel mug as way of saying Fuck You to universe, set car to ramming speed, broke out of driveway.
Roads hideous. However, I can drive like a motherfucker when I have to, and despite A Street's best efforts, did not spin out and into a tree at a blazing 10 mph. (Hint: Turn into the skid.) Arrived at office at crack of Noon.
To sum up: snow.
Slogged out at 7:45 to find a bus. Found bus. Bus was stuck in snow. "I've been here for an hour. We're kinda low on the list. Come in and get warm, anyway." Sat in unmoving bus for half an hour, calling office from mobile to see if anybody else had even turned up. Saw blind man picking his way through snow w/cane.
Thanked nice bus driver, went back home to make coffee and attempt shoveling. Footprints made half-hour earlier were already filled in. Alternated between 500 pounds snow and half-episode of Dead Like Me. Got the driftiest bits of the drive done, decided I couldn't stand being in the goddamn house anymore without punching Mandy Patinkin through the video screen. Poured remainder of coffee in Jar-Jar Binks travel mug as way of saying Fuck You to universe, set car to ramming speed, broke out of driveway.
Roads hideous. However, I can drive like a motherfucker when I have to, and despite A Street's best efforts, did not spin out and into a tree at a blazing 10 mph. (Hint: Turn into the skid.) Arrived at office at crack of Noon.
To sum up: snow.
(no subject)
Nov. 15th, 2006 02:11 pmPersonality type: Lame
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks Cafe au lait medium.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
This is BULLSHIT! I do not say, "Oh, crumb!" I say, "Consarn it!"
You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like "friggin'" and "oh, crumb!" Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks Cafe au lait medium.
Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home
This is BULLSHIT! I do not say, "Oh, crumb!" I say, "Consarn it!"
picspam: cup o' rhinoccino
Sep. 14th, 2006 02:08 pm
This guy came from a Target clearance endcap a few years back, and immediately became a favorite for his poseability and doofy looks. Rhino, Frank Black, and Angsty McGoth are in a band together. They sound a bit like B.O.C., if you squint. His steel box currently houses extra Pinky:st parts.
More info:
Mikey Crawford has a review of the original toy at http://www.mwctoys.com/REVIEW_070405b.htm Apparently he's got boxers on under his jeans. Who knew?
Urban Icons official Web site here: http://www.urbanicon.net/
(no subject)
Apr. 5th, 2006 02:10 pmIs it wrong to buy a bag of Chock Full O'Nuts "Upper West Side European Blend" because it reminds you of Vigo from Ghostbusters 2?
