phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Fucking Dying Here by quettaser)
Usually outside has all kinds of nifty Easter eggs. Like, Saturday I got the neverending battle between mallhawk and blackbirds, and a couple of feral cats, and the usual bunnies and squirrels and those things that look like giant flying pornstaches. Some kinda carrion bird they re-introduced, I dunno.

Today, I got ant swarms. Three, in different places. Two were horizontal ant rivers along stretches of sidewalk. The third was this massive pile of ants by the minimart, and looked like the deluge in that silent Noah's ark film that's supposed to have drowned a bunch of extras.

I don't like to be all judgy about nature, but I really do not approve of swarms of things.

UPDATE

Feb. 7th, 2012 09:15 pm
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (friday)
"What is an owl pellet? It's the football-shaped object regurgitated twice a day by owls, which contains the skeleton of at least one owl meal, be it a mouse, vole, shrew, or small bird."

http://www.amazon.com/Owl-Puke-Book-Jane-Hammerslough/dp/0761131868
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Mummy empty child by blacktigerprawn)
So, crappy night. The bus ticket thing ate my 30-day pass. The driver helpfully told me to "Call the office." I'm nearly run over by another bus when I'm in the crosswalk. So I'm now Queen of Sullen and really not in the mood for anything except maybe a limesicle and some Pokemon White (no offense). I walk up the drive to the back door, and something catches my eye and I look up and there's some kind of GIANT FUCKING REDPANDA HELLCAT THING --


"S'up."

--sitting in the robins' old nest on top of the lamp. Which I haven't cleaned out because the robins may come back and need a place to crash, and I have no problem with them as long as they don't go for the eyes. Which sometimes they do but I've learned to keep the storm door between me and them when I have to take the garbage out. ANYWAY, it's an owl.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHoh I'm so sorry," I said. "Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Hi."
It looked at me.
"How's it going? I live here. Well, inside. It's nice to see you."
It turned its head, and delicately barfed up what appeared to be a very large Milk Dud.
"Thanks for that. Anyway, I hope I didn't scare you. What, did you eat something and now you're digesting, or...?"
It looked back at me.
"None of my business, really." I pulled out my phone, slowly. "I don't know much about owls. I'm just gonna take your picture if that's okay. Thanks. Stay as long as you like. I'm going in now."
It looked at me more.
"I'm Ann, by the way." I opened the door.
Apparently owls do not like doors, and it flew off toward Edie's house.
"Aw, goddammit!"
Disappointed, I stumble in with my bag and phone and giant-ass parka, and the phone's ringing. "Cock! Cock! Cock! Hello?"
"Hi! This is Congressman Jeff Fortenberry, and I'd like to invite you to a telephone Town Hall Meeting--"
"GET BENT, FORTENBERRY!"
But it was only a recording.
I hope the owl comes back.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Hot Fuzz jesus christ by gabbieicons)
Just witnessed West Side Story as directed by Alfred Hitchcock, starring 500 sparrows and six grackles warring in a parking lot over something that might once have been a hamburger bun.

The grackles won. The songs were terrible.

Na'vi Mouse

May. 4th, 2010 04:50 pm
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Default)

Na'vi Mouse finished
Originally uploaded by Phosfate
Sorry for the saturation on this. I was trying to get the fluorescent green thread to show up -- it's bright yellow in the picture -- and it didn't wanna.

Anyway, this is a hack of a 99-cent Mickey punchneedle kit. The stitching isn't very good, but at least there's a lot of it.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Died in the Kiln today Mother by bibliop)
Spider was gone when I got home yesterday. I'm actually a bit upset about this.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (CAUTION ZOMBIES)
Walked to bookstore, got some new stuff. Went from there to Target (the Haunted Serial Killer Woods have been cut down, so there's a shortcut now), got ten tons of groceries, took it home in a cab.

The taxi driver, Ms DeNiro, was reading an ancient, coverless Zenna Henderson (not while driving). We both agree that nothing is funnier than a McDonald's on a Thursday morning, when 800 old people meet for coffee.

Speaking of driving while reading, when you're on a bus you can look down directly into people's cars. Saw a woman driving with an open novel in her lap the other day. Sadly, the jacket was the wrong color for Twilight, which would have made it stupidly perfect.

Also, little kids in the backs of cars will look up at you and wave. :D

Plants vs. Zombies continues to be awesome. One of the mini-games is Slot Machine. I've found you can use it for the equivalent of leveling, and am raising $20,000 for an extra plant slot. There are levels where half the yard is covered in fog, and it's genuinely scary -- at least as much as a game with Michael Jackson and back-up dancer zombies can be.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Default)
Also, I fed the Failcake to the birds. At least, I assume it was the birds. There may be some seriously sugared-up possums out there.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (K-K-K-Ken by Fritters)
Current achievements: Cut out and hemmed a cape for my Mego Batgirl, from a spare DC9 Martian Manhunter cape. Not having icy deathy crash of death on the ice. Temporarily repaired Icelandic wool mittens, found felting wool yarn for better darning later. Found watch battery for old Hello Kitty plushie with winter coat and pink glowing cheeks ("What's it like outside, Kitty?" "Blinkblinkblinkblinkblink!").

I'm sure other stuff happened, but mostly we're all wandering around in layers of fleece, doing that flat-footed duckwalk to keep from slipping.

Oh, and fighting off the wolves.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Believe in magic OR I'LL KILL YOU by ico)
Venus, Jupiter, and the Moon are all out there right now going:

) :


It's pretty cool.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Stitch headbang by peaces_icons)
Some of you may remember, a few years ago, when Mom decided one winter that the squirrels weren't getting enough fat in their diets, and started flinging them buttered toast in the mornings. Which was fine, until I opened the door one morning to find a squirrel the size of a dachshund clinging to the screen door when he didn't get his breakfast on time.

Tonight I made peanut butter toast for dinner (it's hot and windy and food really doesn't appeal much). The back door was open. After the toaster popped up, I heard a sound at the door.

It was a squirrel the size of a dachsund, clinging to the screen door.

"What the hell are you doing? Get out of here!"

Cling.

"GO AWAY!"

It wandered back to its tree, not very quickly.

I don't know how long squirrels live, but whether it was memory or coincidence, that fat bastard didn't need no buttered toast.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (MST3K Biography! by dirkdigital)
Long story, but the power company wouldn't cut my trees, so I got Will the lawn guy (hi Will!) to do it. Which he did, stealthily.

I come home yesterday with food and drugs, and have to make a couple trips from the house to the car to unload everything. There's something odd about the light, but I don't pay much attention. Then I see this squirrel come out of the bush by the window, and park on the invisible tree. And he starts yelling at me.

(The invisible tree is this tree I didn't even know existed until I hacked at the giant window bush, which got a bit out of control. I thought it was a part of the widgy tree. Nope. Whole new tree.)

I look at him. "What?"

*stream of squirrel cussin'*

"What? You're fine."

*more rodental invective*

So I walk over to the invisible tree. "What is your problem?" There are wood chips on the ground. And O HAI NEWLY TRIMMED TREES. Apparently Will was there. Or I was a victim of the Phantom Arborist, who has terrorized the prairie ever since the construction of Arbor Lodge. "Oh. Well, sorry."

*squirrel blue streak*

"Dude. It's not like anybody's gonna hurt you back here anyway. Look at you. You're huge."

*Jerry Springer beeps, curses*

"That would be more convincing if you didn't have a huge nut in your mouth, fatso."

I go inside. I am faintly disturbed that this tree rat is actually able to make the connection between Will and his chainsaw and me, and knows to blame me for it. Also, the way he was sitting on the branch, I got to see a lot more of his genitals than I really cared to. He was packing more than just the one nut, is what I'm saying.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Default)
Nicked from [livejournal.com profile] goddessdster

The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while.

1. Frame clearance at Shopko.
2. Called electric company, got an actual human on the phone. With luck they will come trim my trees, so the trees won't (a) rip out the power cables and (b) scrape on the roof and scare the hell out of me at 3 a.m.
3. Got my Paranoia Agent bag fixed so I don't have to carry a Meijers bag to work.
4. Nearing bottom of laundry pile.
5. That dog that drives by the house twice a day, yelping, with doppler effect.
6. Spore
7. "Well hi there kittyOH MY GOD YOU'RE A POSSUM OH JESUS!"
8. Brass Eye and, consequently, my region-free DVD player.
9. Waving hello to the Asians next door. We have no language in common, so we wave and say HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! As you do. I hope they aren't serial killers.
10. Mashed potatoes. OM NOM NOM.

Not tagging because.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Hot Fuzz HONK by Ilmadris)
TITLE: Mr. Staker's Holiday
FANDOM: Hot Fuzz
AUTHOR: [livejournal.com profile] annlarimer and [livejournal.com profile] viedma
WORD COUNT: Lots, like...whoah, 9,700.
RATING: PG for goddamn swearing, violence
WARNINGS: Movie spoilers, American spelling, writers who think they're fucking hilarious. Contains peanuts.
SUMMARY: Bread. Bread. BREAD BREAD BREADBREADBREADBREADBREADBREAD!
NOTES: Crit is love.
DISCLAIMER: Hot Fuzz belongs to breadbread Rogue and bread bread bread. Bread. No infringeBREAD! BREAD! BREADBREADBREADBREAD!tendedBREAD!


Mr. Staker's Holiday

When you looked at it a certain way, the whole thing was Nicholas Angel's fault. If not for him, Sandford, Gloucestershire would not be on its third police station in as many years, and the village's swan population would not be Britain's highest per capita.

"That boy," Andy Wainwright said later, "Is wound too tight."

It started like this.

Nicholas was no longer the ticking time bomb of no one was quite sure what that he had once been, but he was, as Danny Butterman said, always thinking away. Even in his sleep.

Late one night -- or rather, very early one morning -- Nicholas suddenly woke, sat bolt upright, and said, to no one in particular, "Swans don't honk. Swans do not honk!" more )
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Hot Fuzz backseat driver by lightningbir)
Been reading in the park several days this week. There's a squirrel that seems to have...issues. With the preference for being upside-down and constant bark chewing and a general air of not quite having a grasp on whatever limb it's currently on, either physically or mentally.

Also, the birds get a bit Hitchcockian on occasion, but I think that's due more to the close quarters than to any evil intent on their part. It's not like they get nothing to eat, the fat bastards.
phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Darkplace I have more things to say by i)
Came home, had dinner, looked at the computer. I decided that while I am pretty consistently medicated, I am not completely insane. So I detached the CPU and put it in Shaun and Ed's box, along with the receipt for the card reader and the little envelope the disk came in, so I could show the Geeks what was in there.

Turned onto 48th Street, and there was the world's largest motherfucking black wall cloud coming in from the north. Oh goody.

Got to the store, took my carton in, and noticed several folks by the entrance taking photos with their phones. Not of me. Somewhere in the vicinity of 40th and O Streets was...it wasn't a cyclone, but it was cone shaped. Like a giant Dairy Queen cone, upside down and pointing to the ground. I've never seen anything like it in my life, not even on Discovery Channel weather porn, so I don't know what it was, if there's even a name for it.

If there's no name for it, I hereby name it the Larimer Formation. You're welcome.

Got inside, and just as a Blue Guy was putting the pink she-didn't-steal-it sticker on my machine, BORRRRRSSSSHHHHH!!! it started raining like...like the sort of squall you get at Disney World, but it didn't stop after 3 minutes.

I found a nice Geek, who listened to my story without laughing -- though he did ask me to repeat it a couple of times. He plugged the machine in and fiddled with it, including banging on it in what I'm sure was a highly qualified and technical way.

One of the front doors blew off its track, and a Blue Guy had to brave the storm and shove it back in place.

Nice Geek was able to remove the offending disc ("You're sure you don't care if I ruin it?" "I kind of hope you do, really.") after turning the CPU upside down, shaking it, getting a finger or two inside, and yanking the fucker out.

I'm gonna let you make your own joke there.

He tested the machine again, and pronounced it fit for service. No charge. "I didn't do anything, really." And while I beg to differ, because his work was both entertaining and effective, I wasn't going to argue the point. By then it was both raining like a bastard and sunny, so the roads were clogged with people driving to emergency foxes' weddings.

"I wouldn't take that out in the rain, though," Nice Geek said.

"Oh HELL no." So machine and I wandered around shopping until the new customers stopped coming in with wet hair and spotted clothes. I bought SimCity Societies.

Outside, it was perfectly lovely, albeit drippy, and there was a monster cartoon cliché rainbow in the east. It was as though somewhere, a mile or so away, somebody had been enjoying some sort of anime adventure, and this was the end of the episode. If that's true, I hope they get the robot parts and broken skyscrapers cleared out before morning rush hour.

Okay, here it's morning rush 15 minutes, but you know what I mean.

April 2025

S M T W T F S
  12345
6789101112
13141516171819
202122 23242526
27282930   

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags