fic post: Six Ways "The Great Game" Won't End (Sherlock)

[phosfate]

Title: Six Ways "The Great Game" Won't End
Author: annlarimer
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for two of the photos released so far from "The Great Game." Death. Quite a lot, considering. Europe!fail.
Rating: S for Stoopid and Swearin'.
Summary: What it says on the tin.
Wordcount: 350ish



1. The Final Problem

EXT. Reichenbach Falls, Switzerland

John: Why the hell are we in Switzerland?
Sherlock: I need to send a text.
John: ...what?
Sherlock: It's the only country left with phones I haven't borrowed. In Europe, at least.
John: What about Albania?
Sherlock: They only have, like, six phones. Did 'em in a weekend.
John: Andorra?
Sherlock: (muttermutter)
John: What?
Sherlock: I can't find it.
John: AHAHAHAAAA!
Sherlock: IT'S REALLY SMALL, OKAY?
John: Riiight. And we've hiked up to this giant waterfall because...?
Sherlock: Best reception in the country!
John: Of course. I'm gonna go sit on that rock over there, since you're insane.
Sherlock: 'Kay. (He whips out Herr Steiler''s mobile and punches buttons.)
Pop-Up Text: LESTRADE
Pop-Up Text: IS YOUR REFRIGERATOR RUNNING?
Sherlock: Mwahahahahahahahahahaoops-- (he slips over the edge of the cliff and plunges into the falls)
John: Goddammit.


2. The Final Confrontation

INT. Um...I dunno, a dark abandoned warehouse or something.

Sherlock: IT'S FINISHED, MORIARTY! REVEAL YOURSELF!
Moriarty: (He steps out of the shadows) Certainly, dear boy.
(Sherlock's eyes widen.)
Sherlock: ...Mummy?
John: ...Mum?
Sherlock: (To John) What, seriously?



3. The Absolutely Final Confrontation

INT. or EXT. A filthy waterfront dive, abandoned quarry, or blocked-off Tube tunnel. Does it even matter?

Sherlock: IT'S FINISHED, MORIARTY! REVEAL YOURSELF!
Moriarty: Certainly, dear boy.
(Moriarty removes his cloak and hood, revealing...)
John: Isn't that...?
Sherlock: Mycroft?
Mycroft: BWAH HA! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA *gunshot* Ow!
(Mycroft falls over.)
John: (To Sherlock.) You owe me five quid.
Sherlock: Good shot, John!
John: I've been wanting to do that since the first episode.
Sherlock: I've been wanting someone to do that since 1983.




4. His Last Bow

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved. (He picks up his violin and begins to play.)
John: Sherlock?
Sherlock: (He carries on playing.) Yeah-huh?
John: What happened to the freaky naked cat?
Sherlock: (eyes his violin guiltily.) Muhnno.



5. His Last Snack

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved.
John: And another check!
Sherlock: Kitty kitty kitty puss puss puss!
John: I told you not to call me th--oh.
(The freaky naked cat appears. Sherlock picks it up. We can see JHW written on the cat in felt-tip.)
Sherlock: Good kitty! Who's a good girl? (He extends his jaw and eats the cat whole.)
John: I was saving that!



6. The Final Ultimate Confrontational Last Problem

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved.
*baker street explodes*

Comments

[crantz.livejournal.com]

bwehehehehehe

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

HA!!! Yes.

::goes to write her name in felt-tip on all the cats::

[oddrid.livejournal.com]

I am having far too easy a time imagining Cumberbatch's jaw unhinging to eat that cat. I mean really.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

_thwip!

[goddessdster.livejournal.com]

Well, now I don't have to watch it. I'm certain yours is more entertaining anyway.

Also, shame on Sherlock for eating someone else's lunch.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

WATCH IT OR I'LL KILL YOU WITH A LOG!

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

Bwa-ha-ha!! Dean Learner approves.

Sometimes, things just spontaneously blow up! IT HAPPENS!!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It's natural!

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha! This is fantastic.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

:D

[kirbyfest.livejournal.com]

you are awesome.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

In all fairness, we're both awesome. >.>

[violetisblue.livejournal.com]

:-D

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I haven't said it at all. Aren't you glad?

[littlemissstars.livejournal.com]

ALL OF THESE, PLEASE XD

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Mark Gatiss as Mummy!

[violetjimjams.livejournal.com]

Haha, hilarious.

1983, eh? I take it you're taking this Sherlock as a properly aged 27?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Not at all. In my experience, it takes a few years to build up proper sibling resentment.

[mad-pooh.livejournal.com]

ahaha)) 5 and 6 - the best for me X)

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

Oh, swell. Now look what you made me do!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I'm so, so sorry.

[moondog.livejournal.com]

4. His Last Bow

Whatever Mark Gatiss has written, you have surpassed it with sheer awesome.

P.S. Since he cast HIMSELF as Mycroft, I anticipate much snarking from the Brother Corner.

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

These. All. Are. Made. Of. AWESOME! \o/
Yes, every one of them, each in its own individual wrapper, is totally fun and hilarious.

[teapotgirl.livejournal.com]

AWESOME SAUCE

[warriorbot.livejournal.com]

Hilarious. 1 and 3 are my favourites (1 for the cannon!Wank and 3 for the JW is a BAMF moment!) but they are all freaking brilliant.

*memories*

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

Sherlock: (To John) What, seriously?

Oh, lol.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Sherlock: (To John) What, seriously?
John: No, not really.
Sherlock: Tosser.
Mummy: I'm still here.

[anglepoiselamp.livejournal.com]

This. Is a thing of pure literary genius. :D

[prof-pangaea.livejournal.com]

OH GOD THIS IS LIKE A SHINING JEWEL OF BRILLIANCE

LIKE THE MARAZIN STONE BUT NOT SHIT

OH MAN THIS STORY DOES NEED A WAX FIGURE OF SOMEONE IN IT THO

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

...

...

...

...oh, son of a BITCH!

[nonelvis]

Here via a rec from prof_pangaea, and now I blame both of you for the fact that I cannot stop laughing.

[spacefall.livejournal.com]

*dies of laughter*

[swankyfunk.livejournal.com]

Just read this. I rip out my heart and give it to you.

(Also, 50th comment! *collapses everything*)

[twigcollins.livejournal.com]

Sherlock: Good kitty! Who's a good girl? (He extends his jaw and eats the cat whole.)

I laughed until I cried.

[spencematthews.livejournal.com]

how are you so awesome?