fic post: Six Ways "The Great Game" Won't End (Sherlock)

[phosfate]

Title: Six Ways "The Great Game" Won't End
Author: annlarimer
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for two of the photos released so far from "The Great Game." Death. Quite a lot, considering. Europe!fail.
Rating: S for Stoopid and Swearin'.
Summary: What it says on the tin.
Wordcount: 350ish



1. The Final Problem

EXT. Reichenbach Falls, Switzerland

John: Why the hell are we in Switzerland?
Sherlock: I need to send a text.
John: ...what?
Sherlock: It's the only country left with phones I haven't borrowed. In Europe, at least.
John: What about Albania?
Sherlock: They only have, like, six phones. Did 'em in a weekend.
John: Andorra?
Sherlock: (muttermutter)
John: What?
Sherlock: I can't find it.
John: AHAHAHAAAA!
Sherlock: IT'S REALLY SMALL, OKAY?
John: Riiight. And we've hiked up to this giant waterfall because...?
Sherlock: Best reception in the country!
John: Of course. I'm gonna go sit on that rock over there, since you're insane.
Sherlock: 'Kay. (He whips out Herr Steiler''s mobile and punches buttons.)
Pop-Up Text: LESTRADE
Pop-Up Text: IS YOUR REFRIGERATOR RUNNING?
Sherlock: Mwahahahahahahahahahaoops-- (he slips over the edge of the cliff and plunges into the falls)
John: Goddammit.


2. The Final Confrontation

INT. Um...I dunno, a dark abandoned warehouse or something.

Sherlock: IT'S FINISHED, MORIARTY! REVEAL YOURSELF!
Moriarty: (He steps out of the shadows) Certainly, dear boy.
(Sherlock's eyes widen.)
Sherlock: ...Mummy?
John: ...Mum?
Sherlock: (To John) What, seriously?



3. The Absolutely Final Confrontation

INT. or EXT. A filthy waterfront dive, abandoned quarry, or blocked-off Tube tunnel. Does it even matter?

Sherlock: IT'S FINISHED, MORIARTY! REVEAL YOURSELF!
Moriarty: Certainly, dear boy.
(Moriarty removes his cloak and hood, revealing...)
John: Isn't that...?
Sherlock: Mycroft?
Mycroft: BWAH HA! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA *gunshot* Ow!
(Mycroft falls over.)
John: (To Sherlock.) You owe me five quid.
Sherlock: Good shot, John!
John: I've been wanting to do that since the first episode.
Sherlock: I've been wanting someone to do that since 1983.




4. His Last Bow

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved. (He picks up his violin and begins to play.)
John: Sherlock?
Sherlock: (He carries on playing.) Yeah-huh?
John: What happened to the freaky naked cat?
Sherlock: (eyes his violin guiltily.) Muhnno.



5. His Last Snack

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved.
John: And another check!
Sherlock: Kitty kitty kitty puss puss puss!
John: I told you not to call me th--oh.
(The freaky naked cat appears. Sherlock picks it up. We can see JHW written on the cat in felt-tip.)
Sherlock: Good kitty! Who's a good girl? (He extends his jaw and eats the cat whole.)
John: I was saving that!



6. The Final Ultimate Confrontational Last Problem

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved.
*baker street explodes*

Comments

[twigcollins.livejournal.com]

Sherlock: Good kitty! Who's a good girl? (He extends his jaw and eats the cat whole.)

I laughed until I cried.