phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Sherlock Ickean man-lizard by crantz)
[personal profile] phosfate
Title: Six Ways "The Great Game" Won't End
Author: [livejournal.com profile] annlarimer
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for two of the photos released so far from "The Great Game." Death. Quite a lot, considering. Europe!fail.
Rating: S for Stoopid and Swearin'.
Summary: What it says on the tin.
Wordcount: 350ish



1. The Final Problem

EXT. Reichenbach Falls, Switzerland

John: Why the hell are we in Switzerland?
Sherlock: I need to send a text.
John: ...what?
Sherlock: It's the only country left with phones I haven't borrowed. In Europe, at least.
John: What about Albania?
Sherlock: They only have, like, six phones. Did 'em in a weekend.
John: Andorra?
Sherlock: (muttermutter)
John: What?
Sherlock: I can't find it.
John: AHAHAHAAAA!
Sherlock: IT'S REALLY SMALL, OKAY?
John: Riiight. And we've hiked up to this giant waterfall because...?
Sherlock: Best reception in the country!
John: Of course. I'm gonna go sit on that rock over there, since you're insane.
Sherlock: 'Kay. (He whips out Herr Steiler''s mobile and punches buttons.)
Pop-Up Text: LESTRADE
Pop-Up Text: IS YOUR REFRIGERATOR RUNNING?
Sherlock: Mwahahahahahahahahahaoops-- (he slips over the edge of the cliff and plunges into the falls)
John: Goddammit.


2. The Final Confrontation

INT. Um...I dunno, a dark abandoned warehouse or something.

Sherlock: IT'S FINISHED, MORIARTY! REVEAL YOURSELF!
Moriarty: (He steps out of the shadows) Certainly, dear boy.
(Sherlock's eyes widen.)
Sherlock: ...Mummy?
John: ...Mum?
Sherlock: (To John) What, seriously?



3. The Absolutely Final Confrontation

INT. or EXT. A filthy waterfront dive, abandoned quarry, or blocked-off Tube tunnel. Does it even matter?

Sherlock: IT'S FINISHED, MORIARTY! REVEAL YOURSELF!
Moriarty: Certainly, dear boy.
(Moriarty removes his cloak and hood, revealing...)
John: Isn't that...?
Sherlock: Mycroft?
Mycroft: BWAH HA! BWAHAHAHAHAAAA *gunshot* Ow!
(Mycroft falls over.)
John: (To Sherlock.) You owe me five quid.
Sherlock: Good shot, John!
John: I've been wanting to do that since the first episode.
Sherlock: I've been wanting someone to do that since 1983.




4. His Last Bow

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved. (He picks up his violin and begins to play.)
John: Sherlock?
Sherlock: (He carries on playing.) Yeah-huh?
John: What happened to the freaky naked cat?
Sherlock: (eyes his violin guiltily.) Muhnno.



5. His Last Snack

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved.
John: And another check!
Sherlock: Kitty kitty kitty puss puss puss!
John: I told you not to call me th--oh.
(The freaky naked cat appears. Sherlock picks it up. We can see JHW written on the cat in felt-tip.)
Sherlock: Good kitty! Who's a good girl? (He extends his jaw and eats the cat whole.)
John: I was saving that!



6. The Final Ultimate Confrontational Last Problem

INT. Baker Street

Sherlock: Well. Another case solved.
*baker street explodes*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crantz.livejournal.com
bwehehehehehe

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 03:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teenygozer.livejournal.com
HA!!! Yes.

::goes to write her name in felt-tip on all the cats::

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 03:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oddrid.livejournal.com
I am having far too easy a time imagining Cumberbatch's jaw unhinging to eat that cat. I mean really.

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From: [identity profile] amavissem.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-05 10:38 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 07:29 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] moondog.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 01:22 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] moondog.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 09:48 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2010-08-05 03:59 pm (UTC)
ext_28944: (spaced bright)
From: [identity profile] goddessdster.livejournal.com
Well, now I don't have to watch it. I'm certain yours is more entertaining anyway.

Also, shame on Sherlock for eating someone else's lunch.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:30 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (It's from GOD by parabuzzle)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
WATCH IT OR I'LL KILL YOU WITH A LOG!

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From: [identity profile] goddessdster.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 08:46 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 08:49 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] goddessdster.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 08:59 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2010-08-05 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikistitch.livejournal.com
Bwa-ha-ha!! Dean Learner approves.

Sometimes, things just spontaneously blow up! IT HAPPENS!!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:31 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (darkplace Dean nods by xo_oldgreggory)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
It's natural!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 05:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] robanybody.livejournal.com
Ahahaha! This is fantastic.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:31 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 06:28 pm (UTC)
ext_6749: (Default)
From: [identity profile] kirbyfest.livejournal.com
you are awesome.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:32 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (Little Miss Pretentious believes in qual)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
In all fairness, we're both awesome. >.>

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:34 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (AbFab BABE! by singmyway)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
I haven't said it at all. Aren't you glad?

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From: [identity profile] violetisblue.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 07:48 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 07:57 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2010-08-05 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlemissstars.livejournal.com
ALL OF THESE, PLEASE XD

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:57 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (black books which one of you bitches wan)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
Mark Gatiss as Mummy!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] violetjimjams.livejournal.com
Haha, hilarious.

1983, eh? I take it you're taking this Sherlock as a properly aged 27?

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 09:54 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (The Doctor Dances by blacktigerprawn)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
Not at all. In my experience, it takes a few years to build up proper sibling resentment.

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From: [identity profile] violetjimjams.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-05 09:56 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-05 10:00 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] violetjimjams.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-05 10:02 pm (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 07:35 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2010-08-05 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mad-pooh.livejournal.com
ahaha)) 5 and 6 - the best for me X)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-05 11:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hawkmoth.livejournal.com
Oh, swell. Now look what you made me do!

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:35 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (Keep Calm by myth_moondancer)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
I'm so, so sorry.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 01:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] moondog.livejournal.com
4. His Last Bow

Whatever Mark Gatiss has written, you have surpassed it with sheer awesome.

P.S. Since he cast HIMSELF as Mycroft, I anticipate much snarking from the Brother Corner.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 02:35 am (UTC)
ext_24392: (Awesome - so little time - Mothergoddamn)
From: [identity profile] random-nexus.livejournal.com
These. All. Are. Made. Of. AWESOME! \o/
Yes, every one of them, each in its own individual wrapper, is totally fun and hilarious.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 10:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] teapotgirl.livejournal.com
AWESOME SAUCE

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 12:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] warriorbot.livejournal.com
Hilarious. 1 and 3 are my favourites (1 for the cannon!Wank and 3 for the JW is a BAMF moment!) but they are all freaking brilliant.

*memories*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lavvyan.livejournal.com
Sherlock: (To John) What, seriously?

Oh, lol.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-06 07:39 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (SWAN! by me)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
Sherlock: (To John) What, seriously?
John: No, not really.
Sherlock: Tosser.
Mummy: I'm still here.

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From: [identity profile] lavvyan.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-06 07:44 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2010-08-06 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anglepoiselamp.livejournal.com
This. Is a thing of pure literary genius. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-07 06:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] prof-pangaea.livejournal.com
OH GOD THIS IS LIKE A SHINING JEWEL OF BRILLIANCE

LIKE THE MARAZIN STONE BUT NOT SHIT

OH MAN THIS STORY DOES NEED A WAX FIGURE OF SOMEONE IN IT THO

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-07 11:40 pm (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (Darkplace I have more things to say by i)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
...

...

...

...oh, son of a BITCH!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] prof-pangaea.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-08 02:35 am (UTC) - Expand

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From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com - Date: 2010-08-09 01:22 pm (UTC) - Expand

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Date: 2010-08-07 06:39 pm (UTC)
nonelvis: (SANDMAN making little frogs)
From: [personal profile] nonelvis
Here via a rec from [livejournal.com profile] prof_pangaea, and now I blame both of you for the fact that I cannot stop laughing.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-07 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spacefall.livejournal.com
*dies of laughter*

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-12 03:29 pm (UTC)
ext_52676: (Simon & Nick: butch)
From: [identity profile] swankyfunk.livejournal.com
Just read this. I rip out my heart and give it to you.

(Also, 50th comment! *collapses everything*)

(no subject)

Date: 2010-08-14 01:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] twigcollins.livejournal.com
Sherlock: Good kitty! Who's a good girl? (He extends his jaw and eats the cat whole.)

I laughed until I cried.

(no subject)

Date: 2010-09-16 03:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spencematthews.livejournal.com
how are you so awesome?

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