goodnight pilot's wife

[phosfate]

Took Mom to B&N for a baby present for some baby she met somewhere. She was excited because there's something new out by whoever wrote The Pilot's Wife. But she couldn't remember the title since she'd only seen the book five minutes before.

"Bride of the Pilot's Wife?"
"No."
"Revenge of the Pilot's Wife?"
"No."
"The Pilot's Wife Has Risen From the Grave?"
"No."
"Abbott and Costello Meet the Pilot's Wife?"
"No. It's by the same author. It's nothing to do with the Pilot's Wife."
"Scream, Pilot's Wife, Scream?"
"No!"
"Beneath the Planet of the Pilot's Wife?"
"No. Shut up."
"The Pilot's Wife and the Goblet of Fire?"
"No, damn it."
"The Pilot's Wife Rises Again?"
"No!"
"Bring Me the Head of the Pilot's Wife?"
"Stop it."
"The Pilot's Wife Strikes Back?"
"No."
"The Pilot's Wife Goes to Monte Carlo?"
"No."
"Carry On Pilot's Wife?"
"I mean it, Ann!"
"Son of Pilot's Wife?"
"No! IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PILOT'S WIFE!"
"Oh."
"It's not a sequel."
"Okay. Pilot's Wife, Orphan of Chincoteague?"
"I'm not kidding!"
"Ann Says Pilot's Wife One Too Many Times and Mom Beats the Crap Out of Her?"
"That's it!"
"Hm. Didn't see that one."

The alleged baby got Goodnight Moon and some unholy rattle/book/mirror/violet stuffed elephant hybrid.