(no subject)

(Stolen from la charlotte)

"Maybe Katie Couric wasn't being paid to have a hose shoved up her ass...

"...but the rest of the stars, they're getting something."

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2002/07/11/celebrity_drugs/index.html

(no subject)

*eats own hands*

(no subject)

*stabs own eyes out with drafting compass*

(no subject)

*smashes large quantity of crockery and glassware with hammer, eats up the pieces*

(no subject)

*shoves entire head in stump grinder*

(no subject)

::gets a good running start, flings self through plate-glass window, falling many stories in slow motion as in a 70s action film::

(no subject)

::miraculously, a grille leading to a freight shaft beneath the sidewalk is open; plunges into it, trailing blood and gore like a comet::

(no subject)

::Alas, the lower spaces of the building appear to be storage for a discount cutlery concern, and the freight elevator is no exception. Terrible sounds are heard::

(no subject)

::The sound of splitting bedrock. Beneath the sub-basement is a heretofore undiscovered cavern, revealed to the surface at last by the force of impact. Body, cutlery, glass, gore, and now chunks of rock pour into the vast chamber - onto a clutch of wickedly sharp and strong stalagmites::

(no subject)

::A large dust cloud puffs up from the elevator shaft. Somewhere, far below, is a sound not unlike that of a single automobile hubcap spinning on its edge, then KLANG!ing to its final rest. Silence.::