I just tripped on a crossbow.

Let me say that again, because it's one of those sentences that I probably won't get to say a lot in my lifetime:

I just tripped. On a fucking crossbow.

Those of you who work in the antiques and collectibles market may want to think twice about your crossbow placement. Not, for example, in the store aisle. And not next to a shelf packed with glass compotes and cake stands. I'm just sayin'.

Happily, it wasn't loaded. So, no thwup! gnannnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggg! accompanied the incident.

To sum up: I tripped on a crossbow.