(no subject)

[phosfate]

Dear Microsoft Word:

Please stop sucking.

Sincerely,

Ann

Comments

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

As sucking is their life, they dare not dare not suck.

[viedma.livejournal.com]

Dear Ann,

We thought it over, and no. Enjoy our resume templates!

Sincerely yours,
MW

[tsamm.livejournal.com]

P.S. We rule the world, and don't you forg--

*program shuts down for no good reason*

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

Under "Edit", choose "Select All", then type "Bite Me" in 72 point Comic Sans. That should do the trick.

Re: your complaint

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Dear Ann,

We don't care. We don't have to. We are Microsoft. In ten years, we plan to own the entire goddamn planet. So stop complaining and buckle up. You will learn to love us. OR else you will deeply regret it when we control EVERYTHING.

Sincerely,
Microsoft

PS. Pfffffpt!

[finabair.livejournal.com]

Dear Ann:

They're not bugs, they're features. We even documented them. Somewhere. Take our expensive classes and we might even tell you where! Then you can buy the books and it'll be all better. You'll be able to use MS Word and we'll have all your money, so you won't have to worry about what to do with it yourself.

Now, isn't that incredibly user-friendly of us?

Your friendly neighborhood Worldwide Conglomerate,

Microsopffft

[terminal-frost.livejournal.com]

From the MW Offices;

Where?

PS: We'd ask for the directions to the designated "bite spot", but the computer is currently on the fritz, so you will just have to snail-mail the directions to us instead. :P

[ex-mythril280.livejournal.com]

Dear Ann,

The paperclip can help. It really just isn't there to crash your computer and make you suicidal. Really. Mr Paper Clip the office assistant loves you.

Microsoft. And Mr Paper Clip.

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

Nononono. The doggie. Screw the paperclip, load the doggie!

He's omnipresent, omnipotent, and probably some other weird things too.

When I shut down all my programs, THE DOG STAYS ON MY DESKTOP. All by himself. Independent of the programs.

Really. He does. Stop looking at me funny. I'm seeeeeerious.

[suzyd.livejournal.com]

Dear Ann,

Stop sucking what? We thought you liked it.

Deepest apologies,

Microsoft

[viedma.livejournal.com]

it's a sad day indeed when you make Mr. Paperclip cry.

Re:

[ex-mythril280.livejournal.com]

That goddamn dog! The cat and the mad scientist guy are even worse. They stay on your desktop and they occasionly sneeze and make you think there are people behind you.

eeevil microsoft "helpers".

[bnh.livejournal.com]

YES.

He does.

¬_¬