(no subject)

[phosfate]

::leafing through old photo album in the Slow-Moving House::

Beorn...what's this picture of you and Shelob? This was, like, totally Photoshopped, right?

Comments

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

*looks over shoulder* Hmmm. Nope. No, that was taking at Eobob's BBQ back when he was still working in Dol Amroth as a tutor. He bet Shel she couldn't lift me over her head, and no one saw that beehive there.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Er...did you...um...date at all?

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

Oh totally. But I was just in it for the sex and the ability to get to the head of the line at any amusement park. Walk around with a huge spider calling you Loveykins and people dodge out of the way like a cheeto trying to not get sat on by Sam. Hahahahaha. Why?

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

*taps you on the shoulder*

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

O.o

It was a deep and pure love that left lasting scars on my heart, and I will always remember her with fondess.

*turns around*

Oh Shel, I didn't see you there.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Ahahahahahah. Because she was dating me at the same time. That fucking bitch was CHEATING ON ME!!!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

::icy::

Shelob. You're looking well.

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

Mhm. I'm sure. Could I have a word with you?

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

*dissmissively* wish I could say the same for you

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Aw. Some things never change. You're still so adorable when you try to be catty and fail utterly.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

::smiles sweetly::

I'll leave you two alone to catch up. All the leg hair that's come into the room makes me cough.

N'night, Honey Bear. *mek!*

::ice:: Shelob.

::exits::

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

*sneers* Why thank you. Nice to see you're still hiding behind your dry, pathetic wit.

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

That'd be my cue, I suppose. If you two will excuse me, I've got a dark cavern to be taking up space in.

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

Sure. Just as long as the word isn't 'Gee, I'm a little lightheaded, lean over so I CAN SUCK YOU DRY.'

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Am I? I didn't realize. Oh dear, I shall have to change immediately.

Do try not to drip eggs on the carpet.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

::in other room, muttering::

There's no cavern large enough.

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

Mhm. And I'm sure you will, too.

Oh, don't worry about the carpet. I've already taken the liberty of filling your closet. I hope you werent terribly attached to anything in there.

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

Actually it was more of a 'Gee, the food supply in my neck of the woods has gotten pretty scanty, mind if I take a quart or two for the road?'

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

*drops a spattering of eggs on the way out*

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

Of milk? Sure, help yourself it's in the fridge. :)

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

Yes, right, milk. *pins you to the floor* hold still

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

*mauls*

well that was unexpected

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

*curls in on myself & rolls over onto my back*

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

No one expects the Spanish Inquis-... um...

[shelob-of-ungol.livejournal.com]

.....

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Take it up with Beorn. It's his house.

[beorn-bearman.livejournal.com]

Oh Ulmo's fucking ducky shorts! My Elvis jumpsuit collection!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

NOT THE EAGLE JUMPSUIT!!!

Rats.