oh, goddddddddd...

[phosfate]

I've spent the last hour and a half, on and off, in the ladies' room and/or lying on the floor of an absent colleague's office. I don't know what I ate, but I hope I never, ever eat it again.

I will not go into detail. Decorum aside, if I were able to describe the experience successfully, the Internet would delete itself in a good ole Poetics fit of pity and terror.