phosfate

[Nigel, the time-traveling zookeeper, has gone to prehistoric Texas to capture a crocodile the size of a Winnebago. He is trying to do this with a Jeep, a rubber raft, and a whole bunch of meat. Meanwhile, in the present, Martha the wooly mammoth is isolated from the elephant herd and very depressed, while the newborn sabre-tooth tiger cubs are being hand-raised.]

Everheart: Okay, now the crocs and the Albertasauruses are fighting over the bait from Nigel's trap. DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH! DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH!*
ThePrairieNinja: :D
Everheart: Nigel has a new plan. Oh good HE'S USING HIMSELF AS BAIT 'CAUSE THEY'RE OUT OF MEAT. Yeah, Steve Irwin's spirit carries on...

Everheart: D: RUN, ZOO BOY, RUN!
Everheart: Man, he is so lucky that thing is made of pixels.
ThePrairieNinja: Angry!Pixels
Everheart: They brought it back. Zookeeper Bob is impreessed. JESUS NIGEL STOP THAT!
ThePrairieNinja: what did he do?
Everheart: Led the croc into its new croc pond, built by Zookeeper Bob.
Everheart: Bob is so put-upon. "Nigel just keeps coming back with more creatures!"
ThePrairieNinja: :D
Everheart: HAH! Little raptor stowed away on the jeep, scared the shit out of Zookeeper Bob, and now the brontos are stampeding. Oops.
Everheart: everybody: OH FUCK!
Everheart: Enclosures: collapse!
Everheart: Nigel: RUN BOB RUN!
Everheart: T Rex: Finds the baby elephant!
Everheart: Martha: Charges the t-rex!
Everheart: everybody else: Gun clicking montage a la Hot Fuzz
Everheart: T-Rex: Goes for Nigel in slo-mo! cut to commercial! :D

ThePrairieNinja: :D next: tea time
Everheart: Advert: 1-800-PET-MEDS
ThePrairieNinja: heartworm! is it killing your babies
Everheart: Can openers for old people!

Everheart: And we're back. RUN NIGEL!
Everheart: Megacroc: Goes after t-rex!
Everheart: Nigel: Runs like fuck!
Everheart: t-rex: Runs after nigel!
ThePrairieNinja: T-Rex: BUDDY
Everheart: Nigel: Lures her into pen!
Everheart: Everybody: changes underwear.
Everheart: Rest of staff: We're here!
Everheart: Nigel: Oh thanks.
Everheart: Park: Hires more staff.
Everheart: Martha: Loved by other elephants now.
Everheart: Cubs: Yay meat!
Everheart: Nigel: I have a new idea!
Everheart: The end.

ThePrairieNinja: :D I should watch

Everheart: Nigel has a wedding ring. His wife is either very understanding, or was eaten at some point.

*[TM]