moby update

So they kill the sperm whale, and fasten its carcass to the Pequod for easy handling. Relatively easy. It's a frickin' whale, after all. This comes to the attention of the local shark population, and Ishmael tells us about sharks, behavior of, in his own little version of Shark Week.

Successful harpooner Mr Stubbs insists that the Cook fix him a whale steak in the middle of the night. He insists that Cook preach to the sharks about their ghastly behavior. Cook, a suprisingly good sport, addresses the sharks with an off-the-cuff sermon, addressing them as "Fellow critters." Mr Stubbs bitches about Cook's cooking and rhetorical style, and Cook suggests he fuck off.

Ishmael kindly describes how a whale is 'processed' in vivid detail, and which bits make good eatin'. Thanks, Ish! He also tells us about the finer points whale anatomy and how whaleskin makes good bookmarks for all your books about whales. Ahab orders the sperm whale's head hung from the side of the ship. Then he orders the head of their next subject, a right whale, hung from the other side of the ship. This is apparently some sort of charm against a ship's being stove in and sunk by an angry whale. Think it'll work? It could work. Stop laughing!

Yet another looney prophet turns up, this time courtesy of a passing ship what has the plague. Or something. His name is Gabriel. Moby, according to him, is the God of the Quakers, and the Pequod is (you guessed it!) DOOMED! DOOMED! DOOMED! I don't think Mr Melville is too fond of Quakers, which is a shame as apart from this loonbag they've always seemed like good Joes to me. Plus, oatmeal.

Actually he might've been a Shaker, in which case the above still holds, except substitute 'furniture' for 'oatmeal.'

Ah, for the days when America could generate a religious sect that didn't pack heat.

Anyway, Gabe goes back to his ship and the Pequod heads for its next exciting adventure.

with all due respect

_{The new Lemony Snicket is out.}