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games suck!
Jul. 29th, 2008 08:39 amI finished Sweetopia, which was lovely and sparkly and made me happy and shit blows up. Then it was ON TO THE DEMO GAMES!
Diner Dash: Flo on the Go -- Oh God, who came up with that title? Is the next one gonna be Diner Dash Out West: Flo Rides the Cotton Pony? Anyway, I'm told that the Diner Dash series is one of the most popular 'casual games' going. It's a game about waitressing. Now, if you've ever worked as a server, you're sure as hell not going to want to play this -- it's too much like work. If you've never worked as a server, you're not going to want to play it -- it's too much like work. Plus, Flo, our heroine, has this habit of standing right next to a table where people are trying to eat. She stares off into space, or scratches, or yawns a bit. PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO EAT, FLO, AND YOU'RE LOOMING OVER THEM LIKE A GOLEM. I hate you, Flo.
Chocolatier -- The tedium of shopping lists and baking, but with absolutely none of the rewards. Bonus points, however, for including people of color in the cast.
Pirate Poppers -- The same game as Zuma and Sweetopia, but this time it's all piratey. I friggin' hate pirates. I hate the thrilling Theme from Pirate Poppers. I hate that the designers apparently think that cannon balls are made of carved wood -- they make the same sound as skee-ball. I hate that I start wondering where the treasure I'm amassing originally came from. Is some fragile old lady somewhere still mourning the diamond necklace, her only memento from her late husband? If this candelabra were still in its family, could hocking it save them from poverty, or at least hold some goddamn candles? Also, the title sounds like gay porn, but there is absolutely none to be found. Though the lavender balls are a nice touch.
Dream Chronicles -- Adventure game with Gaudi influence. You wake up to find your husband missing and everybody else in town asleep. Pretty, not too difficult, but not dull. Will probably buy it because the demo cut out just as I got into my in-laws' library and I want to know what happens, goddammit. I have a husband out there somewhere that needs saving!
Diner Dash: Flo on the Go -- Oh God, who came up with that title? Is the next one gonna be Diner Dash Out West: Flo Rides the Cotton Pony? Anyway, I'm told that the Diner Dash series is one of the most popular 'casual games' going. It's a game about waitressing. Now, if you've ever worked as a server, you're sure as hell not going to want to play this -- it's too much like work. If you've never worked as a server, you're not going to want to play it -- it's too much like work. Plus, Flo, our heroine, has this habit of standing right next to a table where people are trying to eat. She stares off into space, or scratches, or yawns a bit. PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO EAT, FLO, AND YOU'RE LOOMING OVER THEM LIKE A GOLEM. I hate you, Flo.
Chocolatier -- The tedium of shopping lists and baking, but with absolutely none of the rewards. Bonus points, however, for including people of color in the cast.
Pirate Poppers -- The same game as Zuma and Sweetopia, but this time it's all piratey. I friggin' hate pirates. I hate the thrilling Theme from Pirate Poppers. I hate that the designers apparently think that cannon balls are made of carved wood -- they make the same sound as skee-ball. I hate that I start wondering where the treasure I'm amassing originally came from. Is some fragile old lady somewhere still mourning the diamond necklace, her only memento from her late husband? If this candelabra were still in its family, could hocking it save them from poverty, or at least hold some goddamn candles? Also, the title sounds like gay porn, but there is absolutely none to be found. Though the lavender balls are a nice touch.
Dream Chronicles -- Adventure game with Gaudi influence. You wake up to find your husband missing and everybody else in town asleep. Pretty, not too difficult, but not dull. Will probably buy it because the demo cut out just as I got into my in-laws' library and I want to know what happens, goddammit. I have a husband out there somewhere that needs saving!
