fuck, it's fucking hot

[phosfate]

Three-digit hot. [insert five or six paragraphs of moaning, tediously lengthy descriptions of environment, smell of tarmac, heat blindness, etc. etc. Thank you.]

Bad luck with books. Have started three, none has passed the 50-page test. Went surfing for fanfic, and that was even worse.

Please, please, please - if you must write fan fiction, acquaint yourself with Mr. Apostrophe and his exact functions. He is not the punctuational equivalent of a shim, to be stuffed in at random in order to make your doorframe fit better or your table stop wobbling. He has a job. He likes to do it properly. Let him. Don't make me beat you to death with a half-brick.

Thank you.

Comments

[felarof.livejournal.com]

My mun of the English Major type embraces you and all you stand for.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I found one last night in which every word that ended with an 's' had an apostrophe tucked in.

The really great thing was that the pov character was a secretary - whose job it is, in real life, to exterminate that sort of thing before it can get out into the world.

'tis Felarof's mun

[jenjinn.livejournal.com]

*stares pathetically and starts to twitch*

I won't share with you the absolutely atrocious fic summary that I found this morning when seeking out a friend's story. *shudder* Now that was frightening. I wasn't even reading the story, and I was in pain.

[a-ringwraith.livejournal.com]

-Does a Bill Clinton lipbite.- I feel your pain.

I'd reccomend books, but i don't know your genre. As for fanfiction.. well, invariable you're better off writing your own, since most fanfiction deserves to be printed out to be shredded and placed beneath the bridcage, if you catch my drift. ^^ Try filling the bathtub with ice and imagining it's antarctica.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I'll take any genre as long as it's readable and doesn't involve the Pilot's Wife, photographing Iowa Bridges, etc.

Even truly heinous fanfic can be entertaining if one is in the right mood, but when the typing is illegible, I'm drawing a line.

Icetub not necessary, but not being repeatedly sent out on small errands will do wonders for my fluid levels.

Good books

[(Anonymous)]

*waves timidly*
Um, hi Ann. You rock. Can I worship you?

Oh yeah, books...Tad Williams Otherland series is pretty good. It consists of four huge, summer-afternoon-consuming volumes. If you want something shorter, Tailchaser's Song is good too, but not as well written. I'm really impressed with Tad's ability to make a happy little book about cats into something really creepy.

*worships Ann*

~Rabbit

Re: Good books

[bittercat.livejournal.com]

I LOVED _Tailchaser's Song_! Awesome book!

Re: Good books

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

And a second from the laser-dodging cat!

Re: Good books

[bittercat.livejournal.com]

Indeed! :P

Re: Good books

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Um...if you want, I guess, but I'm a totally crap-ass deity. I forget names and sleep way too much. You'll probably be better off with one of yer name divinities, maybe one that doesn't get so much traffic these days, like Nut the Sky Goddess - she'll dig the attention and she can actually come across with the worshipful requests. Tell her I sent you.

Tailchaser's Song is creepy? I didn't know it was creepy, I thought it was another of those friggin' talking cat books. I'm in!

Re: Good books

[(Anonymous)]

Well, I've already got these robes and stuff. I might as well worship something. You can't be any worse than the other deities around here.

Yeah, Tailchaser's Song is pretty much a talking cat book until around halfway through, when it starts talking about piles of dead cats. It's definately a book for cat people, though, so if you don't like that stuff just skip ahead to the creepy parts.

*sacrifices virgins*

~Rabbit

Re: Good books

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Tailchaser's Song is pretty much a talking cat book until around halfway through, when it starts talking about piles of dead cats.

I am so there!

((Hey, Rabs, do you need an LJ code? e-mail me and I'll send you one.))

[jenjinn.livejournal.com]

*stands stoutly beside fanfic as an author and reader*

*glances back at some of the stuff behind her*

Um, actually...*quickly steps aside and drags a select few with her, leaving the rest to fend for themselves*

If you can find the gems, you'll be floored by some of the talent out there. If you don't ... Well, at least you might get a good laugh.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

There's tons of asskick fanfic out there. There's also loads of crap, too often written by people who consider it a personal insult if you don't equate their every word with the best bits of Dostoevsky.

And they hurt innocent apostrophes. Oh, Clarice, when will the apostrophes stop screaming?

[moondog.livejournal.com]

Don't make me beat you to death with a half-brick.

Idiots aren't even worth a decent full-size brick.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

If you use a half-brick, you get more force concentrated in a smaller area.

Er...so I've heard.

shameless plug

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

You could always go to http://www.fieldsoffortune.net and subject yourself to some of *our* writing. It's not great but at least we're properly punctuated!

Re: shameless plug

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe...

Re: shameless plug

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

If nothing else, it'll work better than Xanax in terms of putting you to sleep. ;)

[meidh.livejournal.com]

One of my pet peeves, actually, is the misuse of the apostrophe. I'm with you here, Ann.