The Spare Change of Middle-Earth
Aug. 21st, 2002 12:35 pmThank God I’ve had Canon Virus before. I'm immune now. ::pops open umbrella just in case::
Went to the Prancing Pony with Beorn last night for drinks (me – cappuccino, him – large keg of Glorfindale Brown). Fun as always, though not the stuff of which interesting journal entries are made. Came home with a pocket full of change, since the pinball machine only accepts Sacajawea dollars, and thought it might be worth documenting. Yes, I'm bored, shut up. Notes after the picture.

1 - Mordor Bank Note. Formally named the ‘Oculon,’ but called a ‘twat’ by users for reasons which should be glaringly obvious. Very rare, due to their tendency to spontaneously combust, and to the fact that since until the end of the Third Age, the Mordor economy was based on absolute slavery, nobody had any money. Value now fluctuates wildly, ranging from worthless to doodly-squat, depending on how the pizza market is doing.
2, 3, 4, 5 – Various coins from the Misty Mountains/Mirkwood/Rivendell area. It’s not uncommon for the village smith to make coins for the locals, and the value is by weight and material, not denomination. (Beorn makes his own, since he's into the macho hammering thing.) Note the half-Beorning on the far right – if you need to make change for a coin, you cut it into portions. (Or in Beorn's case, bite it.) Fragments such as this are perfectly valid spending money, and are also collected and re-formed into new coins.
6 – Rohan 1-Mark piece. Rather attractive unknown white metal.
7, 8 – Uruk-Hai army scrip, Dwarven coin. Note that both are pierced so that they may be strung on chains or cords for transport, security, and decoration. Members of the Uruk-Hai tended to reshape their pay into pierce-able form, being more or less unable to grasp the concept of offering legal tender for goods and services rather than making their transactions with the aid of a large axe. It is uncommon to find one like this in its original condition, rather than in the form of a nose ring or Prince Albert. Dwarven coins are uniformly shaped, but made of every possible precious metal, often with jewels set into them. A Dwarf who cannot immediately calculate the exact value of a coin from its composition and stone(s) is considered by other Dwarves to suffer from mild mental retardation. Attempting to circulate coins made from impure metal or alloys is a capital crime in the Dwarflands.
9 – Lothlorien ‘Banknote.’ Embossed doeskin with pigment, seal, lapis beads, pretty dangly things, etc. You don’t see a lot of Elvish money at the Prancing Pony,* or indeed anywhere. For one thing, the immortal Elves have evolved a complex system of barter, both with the other Free Peoples and in their own society. Another factor is that Elvish money is, like Elvish everything else, handmade by painstaking artists and craftsElves, so that one note can take years to complete and will be absolutely unique. Naturally it’s considered an art form, one which recipients all over Arda are more likely to frame than spend. And Elves tend to find the notion of actually using money a bit tacky.
*At those prices, I'm not surprised.
Went to the Prancing Pony with Beorn last night for drinks (me – cappuccino, him – large keg of Glorfindale Brown). Fun as always, though not the stuff of which interesting journal entries are made. Came home with a pocket full of change, since the pinball machine only accepts Sacajawea dollars, and thought it might be worth documenting. Yes, I'm bored, shut up. Notes after the picture.

1 - Mordor Bank Note. Formally named the ‘Oculon,’ but called a ‘twat’ by users for reasons which should be glaringly obvious. Very rare, due to their tendency to spontaneously combust, and to the fact that since until the end of the Third Age, the Mordor economy was based on absolute slavery, nobody had any money. Value now fluctuates wildly, ranging from worthless to doodly-squat, depending on how the pizza market is doing.
2, 3, 4, 5 – Various coins from the Misty Mountains/Mirkwood/Rivendell area. It’s not uncommon for the village smith to make coins for the locals, and the value is by weight and material, not denomination. (Beorn makes his own, since he's into the macho hammering thing.) Note the half-Beorning on the far right – if you need to make change for a coin, you cut it into portions. (Or in Beorn's case, bite it.) Fragments such as this are perfectly valid spending money, and are also collected and re-formed into new coins.
6 – Rohan 1-Mark piece. Rather attractive unknown white metal.
7, 8 – Uruk-Hai army scrip, Dwarven coin. Note that both are pierced so that they may be strung on chains or cords for transport, security, and decoration. Members of the Uruk-Hai tended to reshape their pay into pierce-able form, being more or less unable to grasp the concept of offering legal tender for goods and services rather than making their transactions with the aid of a large axe. It is uncommon to find one like this in its original condition, rather than in the form of a nose ring or Prince Albert. Dwarven coins are uniformly shaped, but made of every possible precious metal, often with jewels set into them. A Dwarf who cannot immediately calculate the exact value of a coin from its composition and stone(s) is considered by other Dwarves to suffer from mild mental retardation. Attempting to circulate coins made from impure metal or alloys is a capital crime in the Dwarflands.
9 – Lothlorien ‘Banknote.’ Embossed doeskin with pigment, seal, lapis beads, pretty dangly things, etc. You don’t see a lot of Elvish money at the Prancing Pony,* or indeed anywhere. For one thing, the immortal Elves have evolved a complex system of barter, both with the other Free Peoples and in their own society. Another factor is that Elvish money is, like Elvish everything else, handmade by painstaking artists and craftsElves, so that one note can take years to complete and will be absolutely unique. Naturally it’s considered an art form, one which recipients all over Arda are more likely to frame than spend. And Elves tend to find the notion of actually using money a bit tacky.
*At those prices, I'm not surprised.
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Date: 2002-08-21 10:44 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2002-08-21 11:15 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2002-08-21 11:55 am (UTC)::pulls out a thread::
::pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls and pulls::
Uh oh.
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Y'know...Reagan was really one of our finest presidents.
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Date: 2002-08-22 08:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-22 08:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-22 10:09 am (UTC)::whacks Ann with her own shovel::
Eh, it couldn't hurt.
::runs away just in case::
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Date: 2002-08-21 08:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-08-22 06:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2002-08-21 12:07 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Nova last night was about re-designing the $100 bill, and there was like $30,000 in pennies in my trouser pockets.
Tylenol Cold and Sinus does wonders for canon viruses...
"Uruk-Hai army scrip, Dwarven coin. Note that both are pierced so that they may be strung on chains or cords for transport, security, and decoration."
That's a really nice way of saying they don't have pockets, isn't it? Do I get a cookie?
And you may not have found our outing interesting enough to post, but I'm going to have a field day when this virus clears. I mean, who doesn't want to hear about Lady Ann telling a Balrog to shove his mug up his flaming asshole?
Glad to see you up and around, honey bear!
Date: 2002-08-21 01:50 pm (UTC)I'm not sure the Uruk-Hai even wear clothing, beyond the loincloth and the odd bit of armor plate. It's all the same color, and I really don't want to look that closely. And I left you a whole plate of cookies.
And you may not have found our outing interesting enough to post, but I'm going to have a field day when this virus clears. I mean, who doesn't want to hear about Lady Ann telling a Balrog to shove his mug up his flaming asshole?
And that's different from any other night at the PP in what way, Mr. LET ME SHOW YOU ALL HOW A BEORNING DOES THE MACARENA?