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Dear Manufacturers of Tampon Vending Machines:

Please initiate a nationwide program of machine re-adjustment in order to stop your devices from firing the tampons across the ladies' room like projectiles. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Ann Larimer

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

finabair.livejournal.com

And I thought our soda vending machine was bad, with its tendency to try to get everyone's change underneath itself before they can grab it. I think your vending machine wins.

From:

darqstar.livejournal.com

That's the FUN part!

From:

annlarimer.livejournal.com

Oh, sure - it's fun until somebody loses an eye!

From:

darqstar.livejournal.com

Depends on who that somebody is! If it's the lady who brought her three teenage boys into the bathroom, then hey, it's a lot of fun for me!

From:

taintedpork.livejournal.com

Once, in a bowling alley, I watched in horror as a woman forcibly dragged her son (who had to be 11 or 12) in there. The kid had tears streaming down his cheeks and was screaming at the top of his lungs, "MOMMMM, I DON'T WANNA GO IN THE LADIES' ROOM!!!"

From:

darqstar.livejournal.com

I personally think that women dragging their teenage boys in the bathroom is the cause for all the juvenile crime in the last ten years.

From:

mercyorbemoaned.livejournal.com

I made my stepson change in the locker room by himself for swimming because I thought he was too damn old to be in the ladies' room at five.

From:

darqstar.livejournal.com

Wow, we need more people like you in this world.

From:

mercyorbemoaned.livejournal.com

And you know what else we need? We need less people who stare at me like I'm a Bad Mommy Who's Going to Hell when I let the kids go to the frikkin' bathroom at the movies or the park by themselves. What exactly do they think their evil stares are going to produce in me? "Darn it, forgot about those secret NAMBLA tunnels again... better go make some more kids, lost this batch." More like, "My children will not only be self-supporting, but will be sending me on cruises, while yours are still playing Warhammer in your basement. Thanks."

From:

darqstar.livejournal.com

No kidding. My whole, "Children are being hurt in the bathrooms" has a bit of trouble. First of all, bathrooms rarely have an exit to the outside world, therefore, a child attacked would have to be attacked in the bathroom and only in the bathroom. I firmly believe that Mommy standing outside the door will discourage anyone from taking action. And I don't think there's anything wrong with opening the door and going, "Is everything all right?" if the child is taking a little too much time.

Mostly, I think parents have to teach their kids. If you go into the mens room and someone is in there who makes you at all uncomfortable, LEAVE. If anyone approaches you, SCREAM! I think the occational embarassment that might be caused by a mother running into the bathroom cause her kid screamed at someone who was merely going to ask for a paper towel far outweighs the embarassment of me as a full grown woman having to take a leak with a group of teenage boys.

Ack... I'm preaching to the choir. This is one of my pet peeves. Just know that I really really admire you.

From:

taintedpork.livejournal.com

People just need to get over the paranoia that there's a big bad pedophile lurking around every corner, and understand that as long as the kid is old enough to do his/her business unassisted, he/she can be safely left alone for a period of 3 frickin' minutes.

This is not a situation that's unique to ladies' rooms, by the way. I once stepped out of the shower in the mens' locker room at a health club, only to come face-to-schlong with a girl of about 8, who was in there with Dad.

From:

mercyorbemoaned.livejournal.com

This one I could see, because the chances that said bathroom excursion took place on one of the four days each month Dad is seeing the girl at all, so Dad is both a little unsure of protocol and terrified of losing all visitation if he makes the teensiest little mistake, are high.

Mothers and boys though? Probably no excuse. The truly scary thing about this kind of misguided overprotectiveness is that it renders children incapable of recognizing and dealing with real threats, because recognizing real threats doesn't happen in a vacuum - you recognize someone as a threat by comparing their behavior to that of a normal, non-threatening person. And you have to have a lot of experience with normal, non-threatening people, to be able to spot somebody who's off. But the last time I hijacked Ann's journal she told me to stop so I will stop now.