THE TURKEYS ARE HITTING THE GROUND LIKE SACKS OF WET CEMENT!

[phosfate]

Not entirely certain of how to get through a Buffython-free Thanksgiving (before that, X-Files-thon, before that, huge-ass Chicago conventions). Curled up with a pile of Doctor Who novels. *twitch*

Mom somehow managed to set the mashed potatoes on fire. I'll say that again: Mom somehow managed to set the mashed potatoes on fire. She rushed the pan out onto the patio before the fire alarm went off.

"I AM NEVER MAKING ANOTHER GODDAMNED HOLIDAY MEAL AGAIN!!!"

"Okay."

"At least you can't tell Susan I set the fire alarm off this time."

"It hardly seems necessary."

While we were eating, she told me the story of how, as a girl, she once ripped off her thumbnail while trying to shred cabbage to make her aunt's threshers'* cole slaw. They never found the thumbnail, but since neither she nor her aunt ate cole slaw, they didn't worry too much about it.

"It didn't bleed or anything, the nail just came off like this!" (gestures)

"I'm eating here!"

"We never did find it."

"Eating!!! Jesus Christ!"


*Threshers. The guys who came to a farm at harvest time and...harvested. They required enormous amounts of food.

Comments

[ahli.livejournal.com]

Thanksgiving without mashed potatoes is just another day. Only sucky, cause there's no mashed potatoes. :(

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I say thee nay! For we had...YAMS!!!

::does dance of yamic joy::

[ahli.livejournal.com]

But what about the gravy? You cannot gravify a yam. Or at least, you should not!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

The gravy loves the turkey. And also helps disguise it.

[ramalama.livejournal.com]

I had a yamless Thanksgiving. *weeps*

[dana-kujan.livejournal.com]

While we were eating, my mom told us how, back on the farm when she was a girl, they would slaughter the hogs on Thanksgiving morning.

Me: Why Thanksgiving?

She: Well, you have to do it when it's cold out, otherwise they'll spoil.

Me: Why Thanksgiving?

She: Well, you know, I've never cared for turkey.

We were eating turkey. We've always had turkey on Thanksgiving. I guess ham just wouldn't be fresh enough compared to those hogs.

She: We would hurry through breakfast so Granpa wouldn't leave without us.

Nephew: You're sick.

Me: Hey! This was their version of violent video games.

Okay, that's enough.

[cimness.livejournal.com]

i'm filled with a sense of awe, or maybe that's amusement.

[crantz.livejournal.com]

That turkey thing sounds familiar...

alternately, when I celebrated Thanksgiving about a month ago quite a bit of it was spent with me sleeping on the couch while enough cousins to fit two greyhound buses wandered around trying to figure out which family actually owned the house or if they'd gotten lost and invaded the wrong people again.

[bentleywg.livejournal.com]

That turkey thing sounds familiar...

WKRP in Cincinnati?

[crantz.livejournal.com]

yes! That's it! Jeez. And I've only seen the show once too. o.o

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

Don't moms tell the best stories??

[ramalama.livejournal.com]

Have I mentioned I love your mom? I love your mom.

And hey, mashed potatoes are supposed to be crispy, ain't they?

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly..."