(no subject)

[phosfate]

Dear People who Take Bob Ross Painting Courses:

I saw one of your pictures yesterday. I've never paid much attention to them before, but I was trapped on line forever in the art store, and it was right there in front of me.

Now, I'm not any kind of expert in landscape painting. But there are certain basic physical realities that can make or break a picture. I'd like to offer some tips and hints, if I may:

1. During the day, outdoor light pretty much comes from one place (that would be the Sun) and shines in one direction. If the light on your clouds comes from the left of your canvas, so too should the light on your mountains, trees, etc.

2. Snow can be highly reflective, but it is not phosphorescent. I'm sorry, but it just isn't.

3. Mountains, as a rule, do not suddenly erupt from flat earth. If you are painting from life and see actual mountains like this, you are in the presence of some horrible When Worlds Collide-level disaster, and should seek shelter immediately, for all the good it'll do you, and make peace with your God. Don't bother to pack up your painting gear. You won't need it again.

4. Unless you are depicting luminous algae or a submerged UFO, the reflections in your lake should in some way, however vague, mirror the land and sky above. Making up your own reflections only upsets people.

I hope this is in some way helpful to you.

Sincerely,

Ann

Comments

It demands a sacrifice!

[mauftarkie.livejournal.com]

Mountains, as a rule, do not suddenly erupt from flat earth.

Uh, you do know about Paricutín, right?

Re: It demands a sacrifice!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Sorry. "Big chunky rock mountains do not suddenly etc. etc."

The thing in this picture looked like a 20,000-foot sugar cube.

Re: It demands a sacrifice!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Although, now that I think about it, Paricutin does fall under the seek shelter/make peace with God clause. Except slower.

[viedma.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine what a Bob Ross museum would look like? That super-stoned Bob Ross voice would have to be piped in through every speaker, too.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*cries*

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

Suzan and I used to watch Bob Ross (and, really, wasn't that voice of his a great cure for insomnia? Soothing, hypnotic stoned-guy!) -- it was amazing how the pictures would be okay, not bad...and *then*, about 20 minutes in, like clockwork, it would All Go Wrong. We used to love to watch his show for that very reason. It was like watching a bad roadside accident.

(You know what, though -- I actually *did* get a few useful tips from his show.)

I love your comments! ::snort:: *So* true!