mourning sucks

[phosfate]

This I already know. I've been on this bus before, and the only way off is to ride it to the end of the route. But God, this continuing undercurrent of misery is just...it's like having a small man playing bagpipes - really really badly - just behind your ear, or you've swallowed a garden claw and it's lodged somewhere in the vicinity of your pancreas.

Then something happens that makes you happy for a little while, and it's like the Sun comes up...and then it wears off and the Sun looks at his watch, realizes that it's Saturday and goddammit there's no school and he's gonna sleep in.

Napping a lot. I don't know if it helps, but it doesn't seem to do any harm, and that's all one can ask.

I wish we'd have a dog or a baby or something come stay. They're soothing. Mom went apeshit and bought a new bear today. Can't blame her, really.

And I really, really, really hate the song "God Bless America," which isn't helping. The song itself is annoying enough, but to make it worse, I'm old enough to remember the horror that was Ethel Merman. Or was it Kate Smith? Hell, they could have been the same person - now that I think about it, I don't remember ever seeing them in the same room together. So there's that. And of course hearing it always summons up the ghost of that classic scene of Archie Bunker singing it in his living room: "'Gooooooooooooodddd Bless A-meri-caaaaaaaaaa' - you dumb Polack! 'My hoooooommmmmmmmme sweeeeeeeeeeeet hoooooooooooooome!'" So there's also the inappropriate giggling factor added in.

I want to be back at Disney World. The most alarming thing there was Jeffro, the waiter in the Whispering Canyon Cafe, and the white washcloth that he folded into...oh let us not speak of it. It was too horrible.

And then he put barbecue sauce on it!

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[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Yay!