Arch Obler's 'The Screaming Luggage'

[phosfate]

Okay, I'll tell you the luggage story. The version you're already making up is probably better than the reality, so you may want to just skip this and retain the sense of mystery.

I have a carry-on bag made of (the label swears!) Teflon. The Teflon part isn't important, except that it helps make the bag a lovely* dark charcoal-grey. It zips longwise across the top, and my personal neuroses re: the supplies necessary for a carry-on bag** mean that I can rarely zip it shut, or want to.

I also have a black teddy (bruin-style) called Hobhouse. Hob is so black as to be nearly invisible. Black fur, black eyes, black nose. He accompanied me on that particular flight, despite the way his pellet-filled paws tend to swing up and clock me in the eye if I pick him up.

Hobhouse was in the very top of the bag, stretched longways, with his nose and eyes just peeping out. I put bag-n-Hob into the x-ray machine, placing him on the conveyor belt nose first so he could see where he was going, and fucked off through the metal detector to pick him up on the other side.

As I retrieved my change and stuffed it back into my pockets, I heard the X-ray attendant give a huge, girly SHRIEK. It turns out that a black bear in black bag looming out of a black tunnel looks amazingly like a huge, gleaming-eyed sewer rat. Then X-ray girl started laughing, and we both scolded Hobhouse for being a little fucker. Not in those words.

Fortunately, this was in the late 90s. If it'd been after September 2001, I'd probably have been given a cavity search, just on principle.


*Or not. I had a typesetting teacher guy who once gave us this dire warning: "Artists like grey. Artists love grey. Nobody else likes grey." He also warned us about reading Doonesbury, and visiting the empty Old Cillessen Place up on t'hill. Okay, I made up the bit about the Old Cillessen Place.

**Minimum three novels, basic drawing kit, notebook, sketchbook, food, change of linen, etc.

Comments

[coreopsis.livejournal.com]

That is an awesome story.

And I actually like grey (am wearing it right now). Especially charcoal. heh.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

You damn Doonesbury-reading Communist.

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

I think that's funnier than the sex toy image that immediately popped into my a lot of people's heads.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

O_O




_{You dreadful people!}

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes we are.

Of course, that souds like my "never leave the house without it" kit.

Sketchook
Penicl and Eraser
Spare lead (I use a mechanical pencil)
Inking pens
Umbrella (in wintertime only)
Sweatshirt (for cold days and colder nights only)
Lucky hat
Regular hat.
Gloves (You never know)
Little odds and ends.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Mechanical pencils are awesome. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

No worries

[ashenmote.livejournal.com]

I like black, but a lot of my black faded to grey. Does that count?

Also, poor Hobhouse. Being mistaken for a sewer rat isn't flattering for a teddy, no matter the circumstances.

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

Here's my silly carry on story: several years ago, back before 9/11 and all that, we visited Tunisia (that's in north Africa, folks), for purely geeky purposes (ie, visiting Star Wars filming sites). I always look for silly collectibles in foreign countries, and this time, was rewarded with a ridiculous pink faux-Sailor Moon toy set, complete with a big scary mask of not-Usagi herself, and a hot pink Sailor gun. (It looked like a water gun, only eyeball-searing pink).

Anyway, of course I keep my toys in my carry on luggage (non-essentials, such as prescription meds and toothpaste are relegated to baggage). It was our last day, and we had somehow made it to the airport. The very last step before we boarded the plane to get the hell outta Tunis, you had to go through one last X-ray scan. I put my bag through without a second thought (plastic toys), but then as I was just passing the metal detector, I heard screams and commotion from the X-ray guys. It was the biggest Arab dude I'd ever seen. Of course, he'd seen a outline of a *pistol* on the scanner!! He called me back, and Gus and I were already smiling when he fished through my luggage to extract....a hot pink plastic Sailor Moon gun! I mumbled out some high school French in explanation ("C'est un jouet!"), but big tough Arab scanner dude was already shamefacedly shoving my toys back into my luggage and bidding the foreign devils to get the hell out of his country.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Butbut Sailor Moon would never carry a gun!

Okay, except for that painting where she had a Glock.

Butbut Sailor Moon would never carry a pink gun!

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

Painting? Sailor Moon with a glock? Can I see?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It's in the first SM illustration book, excerpted here:

http://mangastyle.net/artbooks/genga1d.htm

The picture in question is waaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

Cool. Thanks

[dwinghy.livejournal.com]

That is awesome. What a shame she didn't stick to that angle when she did the manga. "IN THE NAME OF THE MOON I WILL PUT A CAP IN YO ASS"

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Usagi just can't take any more of the jocks and preps' bullying.

[dwinghy.livejournal.com]

Hmm... *steals idea and pitches it to TokyoPop*

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

Twasn't Sailor Moon, kiddies, but a knockoff.

You're right, Ann, my memory is squidgy, it's bright neon orange and yellow:

http://www.bobagirl.com/anime/sailormoon/sm-tun-beauty.jpg

Packin' heat:

http://www.bobagirl.com/anime/sailormoon/sm-tun-beauty-guns.jpg

[carraway54.livejournal.com]

At least once in a given week, while getting dressed, I find myself reaching for five pieces of clothing in five distinct shades of gray. And then I have to stop and find a different outfit.

I think I own as much gray clothing as black. I'm not sure if I'm trying to look less conspicuous, or what.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I only know it's the best color to wear in Manhattan, since by the time you leave your clothes will be that color anyway.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

*Makes mental note of that in case he ever winds up in NYC*

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Very strange, on the drive out of the city, to realize that there's grit in your teeth.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

That's assuming I make it out. I'm a born and raised Californian. NYC would probably eat me alive.

[bentleywg.livejournal.com]

...looks amazingly like a huge, gleaming-eyed sewer rat. (http://www.livejournal.com/users/bentleywg/863364.html)

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

You will be pleased to know that for any trip/visit longer than an hour, Michelle always carries her favorite pencils and sketchbook. Alternately, she will use paper placemats in restaurants to sketch on, or turn cocktail napkins into origami birds.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Exxxxxxxxxxxcellent.