"Oh, Mother, don't be so sentimental. Things explode every day."

[phosfate]

Mom watches way too much CNN. And apparently has no memory of the 70s. She came in at breakfast looking all astonished. "The subways in London are running!" Well, yeah. They know how to swap out a blowed-up train or two. It's in the employee manual.

While I'm drinking my milk, Good Morning America is running an inspirational montage to a minor-key, legato version of "Rule, Brittania," and cornering eyepatched victims to ask them, "How did you feel at that moment?"

I'm sorry, London. I know y'all are really good at this kind of stuff, but there hasn't been a shark attack in days, and the hurricanes just aren't living up to their hype yet.

Comments

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Not to mention that damned chick in Aruba isn't cooperating by letting us find her rotting corpse.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

And the kidnapped, molested nine-year-old? So not forthcoming with the details. Why hasn't she been on Oprah yet?

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

We want the gory details! If we can't get our tabloid news then the terrorists win.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

America: We feed on drama like Spike feeds on hot, underage Sunnydale cheerleaders.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

They showed her a picture of Oprah and she thought it was a bear.

[teenygozer.livejournal.com]

Two points for the Monty Python reference!

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

But, if we're not free to go around harrassing injured victims for 24-hour news channel fodder, then the terrorists win!!!

[ahli.livejournal.com]

America's really into shark attacks.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

The American media has never really gotten over the sharkus interruptus that was September 11. Now they're forever trying to recapture that golden summer of viciously torn flesh, but they never will. No, they never will. *weep*

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It was in my head ALL DAY yesterday. Drove me mad.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

"I see your eye is bandaged, and one side of your face is covered in small shrapnel wounds. How did that feel?"

"It hurt a bit."

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*chokes on own uvula*

[ahli.livejournal.com]

I remember it was Shark Week! on the Discovery Channel for about 4 months.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

In all fairness, you know that one time they took out two of the world's tallest skyscrapers? They sort of won.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

They've done Shark Week! for years, though, so they get a pass on that.

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

This is when celebrities need to do more stupid things to fill the gap in infotainment, so that long-suffering Britons can be left alone. Where's Tom Cruise and his crazy when you *need* him?

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

Oooo, I know! I know! Tom Cruise.....makes a pr0n video....with a shark! It can't miss!!

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

Did you see this?

http://www.lnreview.co.uk/news/005167.php

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

Well, Spielberg does need a proper sequel to Jaws...

[kosher-jenny.livejournal.com]

Such things happen here in the gaps between celebrity trials.



It makes me very glad that I get BBC America.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Awe. Some.