"Oh, Mother, don't be so sentimental. Things explode every day."

[phosfate]

Mom watches way too much CNN. And apparently has no memory of the 70s. She came in at breakfast looking all astonished. "The subways in London are running!" Well, yeah. They know how to swap out a blowed-up train or two. It's in the employee manual.

While I'm drinking my milk, Good Morning America is running an inspirational montage to a minor-key, legato version of "Rule, Brittania," and cornering eyepatched victims to ask them, "How did you feel at that moment?"

I'm sorry, London. I know y'all are really good at this kind of stuff, but there hasn't been a shark attack in days, and the hurricanes just aren't living up to their hype yet.

Comments

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Not to mention that damned chick in Aruba isn't cooperating by letting us find her rotting corpse.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

And the kidnapped, molested nine-year-old? So not forthcoming with the details. Why hasn't she been on Oprah yet?

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

We want the gory details! If we can't get our tabloid news then the terrorists win.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

In all fairness, you know that one time they took out two of the world's tallest skyscrapers? They sort of won.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

They showed her a picture of Oprah and she thought it was a bear.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*chokes on own uvula*