(no subject)

[phosfate]

So my sister Kim came to stay for a couple of weeks, while...you know. It worked out okay. She's good at cleaning, I'm good at sorting and chucking, and my big brother is good at dealing with idiots and paperwork. We're like the Galaxy Trio, only better animated.

However, Kim and I live on different planets. This is only to be expected, since there's 11 years between us. She likes Anderson Cooper and shows about people with extra heads who have multiple births of 750-pound men. I punish her with Aqua Teen Hunger Force and The Colbert Report (it takes her two days to figure out that the latter is not in fact a real news show).

Anyway, we have conversations.

(In the bookstore)
Kim: Camey Kay's Girls? What's Camey Kays?
Me: Uh...Kamikaze Girls.
Kim: Oh.

(In the hospice, she spots me yanking out an eyebrow hair.)
Kim: Stop that! What are you doing?
Me: Oh. Sorry. I've been kind of...worrying at my eyebrows, the last couple weeks. It'll stop when this is over with.
Kim: Oh Jesus. Well, stop it. (pause) At least you don't do that thing where you pull your hair out.
Me: Well, not anymore.
Kim: Oh, my God! When did you...
Me: Oh, y'know. Junior high, high school.
Kim: Oh, my God!
Me: Only a little!
Kim: Jesus.
Me: It was 25 years ago. Chill.
Kim: Jesus. What made you stop?
Me: Now that I think about it, Dad² finally died.
Kim: (pause) Oh Jesus! (busts up laughing)

(My niece and nephew have a band called Eux Autres*, so we're talking about their music 'n stuff. A pattern emerges. A pattern of DEATH! Sorry. Little melodrama there.)
Kim: [Her daughter] really likes [some band I've never heard of]. Do you like them?
Me: Who?
Kim: She likes [some band I've never heard of].
Me: I have literally never heard of them.
Kim: That's weird. You used to, like, know everything about music.
Me: Yeah. That's kind of gone. My musical brain stops around 1990 or so.
Kim: What happened?
Me: Kurt Cobain shot himself. Then my radio station went country overnight without telling anyone.
Kim: Oh.
Me: It was horrible. I woke up one morning, and there was Garth Brooks.
Kim: I understand.


*Google them. They're batshit cool.

Comments

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

I woke up one morning, and there was Garth Brooks.

It has never been put more perfectly.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I was expecting the Trashcan Sinatras or The Cure. It was a moment of pure horror.

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

Hey, one of my former students used to pluck out his eyebrow hairs (and also the hair on his arms) in times of stress (which, for him, was all day at school, because, you know, there were *people* there, sort of unavoidably). But he had to then pull them apart into two halves, then methodically throw away first one half, then the other. It seemed like a reasonable way to cope, to me. Not terribly destructive (which he could be if he felt too cornered -- he was a hulking 250-pound adult biter); reasonably benign, and a usually-renewable source. Whatever works. (It's a hell of a lot better than my bad habit of fooling with the scabs on my hands and arms that hang around for months because of A) very slow healing due to diabetes, B)constant new owies due to dog and cat, and C) me fooling with the scabs on the owies (it's usually an unconscious activity...except when it's occasionally deliberate). Oops, sorry -- probably...no, *definitely* TMI.)

Your hair is pretty, though, so I'm glad you're leaving that alone.

She likes Anderson Cooper and shows about people with extra heads who have multiple births of 750-pound men

The Discovery Health Channel!! I've seen a few of those in horrified fascination.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

But he had to then pull them apart into two halves, then methodically throw away first one half, then the other.

I feel all amateurish now.

I am enjoying a quarter-inch or so of fuzzy eyebrow stubble. It's like a little G.I. Joe Adventure Team guy's head.

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

Aw! I bet the fuzzies are cute! *smoochies*

Yeah, you're definitely amateur status. 'Cause, like, I forgot -- he used to do that with his *eyelashes*, too. (That's gotta hurt....)

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

Also, Garth Brooks. Eeeuw.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It was as though they'd replaced my coffee with Folger's Crystals.

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

Ack!

Mind you, I'm one of those non-connoisseurs who horrifies people like saffronhouse by drinking Millstone and Gevalia flavored coffees with *lots* of creamer/half-and-half/milk and artificial sweetener. Or Maxwell House flavored with vanilla and cocunut flavoring from Watkins or something. I actually like coffee-*flavored* cafe au lait-ish sort of hot beverages rather than straight coffee.

But even I can't handle Folgers crystals.

My dad, however? Been happy with instant coffee for 50 years.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

I get the feeling I've missed something . . .

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Sorry. Sorry. Locked posts. My Mom passed away two weeks ago*.






*I am trying very hard to make myself not say "croaked" or "snuffed it" to other people. Even though it feels wrong.

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry *hug*

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*squish*

[pandoras-closet.livejournal.com]

*squish back*

[bodhibird.livejournal.com]

Some of us kinda guessed but weren't sure.


I'm sorry.


It's okay to say "croaked" if you want. "Snuffed it" sounds a little violent.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

We were really punchy, and horrible to the poor nurses:

"You can stay as long as you need to."

"Nah. We've had the traditional corpse-slapping, and put a stake through her heart. There's nothing left to do until we get the ashes back. Then we've got to look for a crossroads to bury 'em."

"All...right."

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

She likes Anderson Cooper and shows about people with extra heads who have multiple births of 750-pound men.

Um, will I be banished from your FL for EVAR if I mention that I like your sister? Not the Anderson Cooper part--I'm more Keith Olbermann's love slave--the 750-lb siamese twins part. I'm always making Mr. Tiki scream and insist I turn off Discovery Health.

Plus, sis birthed some awfully cool kidz.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Naaaaah, she's okay. By the third night she was asking, "Is that weird cartoon on?" and was disappointed to find out that it wasn't. And she sat through Reservoir Dogs and Blood: The Last Vampire like a trouper.

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

I would enjoy seeing the better animated Galaxy Trio together. Just once. I have a feeling just once would be all mah widdle brain could handle.

Gotta go google a batshit cool band now. *whoosh*

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Mom has this story where the pediatrician came to the house when somebody was sick (this was back when they did that), and said to her on his way out: "I couldn't live with this family. Every one of you has a totally different personality." Like it was a bad thing. I don't know what her reply was.

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

Reminds me a bit of my mom, who felt VERY smug after having me, and sort of figuring out what kinda kid I was. She felt like a Very Good Capable Mom.

Then my little bro David came along. And my mom rolled her eyes and wailed "I memorized the instruction manual! This one isn't even the same manufacturer, much less the same model!"

And to this day, Dave and I are SO proud of that. We rule.

[claudiall.livejournal.com]

She's gonna be very hard to turn into the good side...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

But now I have a new project!

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

Gah--that was like having to explain to Mike's younger sister (who's only 3 years younger than us) what an iPod is. Seriously, I just had to do it last weekend. It was--weird.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Obviously, it's a Walkman with invisible cassettes.

[icantgetout.livejournal.com]

I love you so much, Ann!

I'm still pulling my hair. But less now than I used to. So I suppose that's good!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I love you too, tiny friend.

I decided not to tell her that my favorite spot for hair-pulling was while hiding in her closet. It would've really creeped her out, and I'd rather hold it in reserve for a special occasion.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I forgot to tell you -- Mom always asked about you a lot. She referred to you as "Your little friend in Scotland who sent you the thing." (Understand that she referred to anybody under 60 as "little," e.g., that little girl who's married to the President on The West Wing.)