(no subject)

[phosfate]

Dear Ann:

You can stop buying toilet paper now. Two bales is plenty.

Your pal,

Ann

Comments

[aldenmacrae.livejournal.com]

Ashes to ashes, funk to funky, we know Major Tom's a junkie...

Oh, now I am sad because I don't have The Young Ones on DVD.

Also: Dude. You can almost never have enough toilet paper.

Well, you can. And you can have too many packages of paper towels; we are STILL using up the ones Mom stockpiled when she went mental.

Yeah, stop buying toilet paper, dearest. (Also, don't buy the stupid SUPERHUGE Charmin rolls because I have discovered that the extender thingummy they give you in the package? Doesn't always fit. So you have to use up all the outsides of all the rolls first, so the rolls will fit into your, um... toilet paper dispenser system? Whaever that's called?)

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I like the superhuge rolls. Less changinatin', and they fit my roll holder thingie just fine.

I just hate those stupid asswiping bears on the package. Ew.

[aldenmacrae.livejournal.com]

GORGEOUS ICON OMG.

Well, I am quite pleased to hear that the roll-holder extender thing fits *somebody's* roll holder thingie! The ones in this house are kind of weird and obnoxious (like a symbol of life in this house!); we couldn't have those air-freshener-in-the-roll-holder things either because of how they fit into the... oh never mind. I have no words this morning.

Oh, except: Bears have to poo too, you know. And they are quite pleasant bears! I hate the little-girl bear, though. Only the original asswiping bear will do.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I just can't believe they did a major, nationwide advertising campaign based on the premise, "Does a bear shit in the woods?"

Next, Trojan condoms' "Is the Pope Catholic?" campaign draws the ire of the Catholic church.

[teapotgirl.livejournal.com]

You're planning to TP the town or what?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Nah. It's just that I'm so totally full of shit.

[cocoajava.livejournal.com]

And of course you are making me recall a quotation from Homicide: Life on the Street because I am an obsessed pathetic person.

Scene: Squad room bathroom, two detectives talking between stalls:

Crosetti: You got toilet paper over there?
Lewis: No.
Crosetti: You got... five ones for a five?

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

But that's what Costco is FOR! :stamps little feet:

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Two bales is plenty.

So you think now, but just wait until the TP cartel starts pulling rolls to jack up the prices.