Oprah's Favorite Thing Or Symptom Of Clinical Depression?

[phosfate]

"...much like Dark Side Of The Moon allegedly synchs up with The Wizard Of Oz, nearly everything on Oprah's Favorite Things™ list neatly matches up with the symptoms of clinical depression."

http://www.avclub.com/content/hater/oprahs_favorite_thing_or_symptom

I rarely say this, but: caution, this may be triggery.

Comments

[wolfy-writing.livejournal.com]

Urgh, that's grim. I was once stuck on a boat and forced to listen to Josh Groban for two and a half hours. Amazingly, no one jumped off.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I...yeah. *shudder*

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

You'd think it would have been like rats leaving a sinking ship. *g*

[twigcollins.livejournal.com]

In the version of my life where I am rocking that bachelor lifestyle with a slightly higher pay-scale, that fridge with built-in TV is required. I mean, seriously. You could cut an entire room out of your house with that thing. Dishwasher rotate the clean and dirty dishes and you hardly even need a kitchen!

... and man, that shirt/pants combo is terribly fug. All the drapey unattractiveness, now with legs!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Screen's too high off the ground. You'd need one of those super-adjustable beds that...wait. I'm seeing how this could work.

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

This is the best list ever.

My sister loves Josh Groban. And Clay Aiken. She gets all flustered and nervous every time my nieces remind her that the latter is gay.

She's also a big fan of Oprah. If Oprah says it, it must be true. If it's uttered by a guest on Oprah and endorsed by her, it must be true.

That Dr. Oz guy, or whoever he is, with his fucking over-simplified health things just pissed me off when he said that to be healthy, women needed to be having sex. Oh, no, wait -- what he *really* meant was that *oxytocin* was important for general well-being. So, y'know, never mind that oxytocin is produced in all sorts of bonding situations that have nothing to do with sex, or with two adults, or even with two *humans* (your body produces oxytocin when you feel all lovey and protective for your *pet*, for pete's sake), and that for him, "sex" meant only sex in a long-term relationship. What an asshat! (Of course, when I mentioned that, my sister and brother-in-law waved me off and were all irritated, because I had Interrupted Oprah, a cardinal sin, not to mention *Contradicted Oprah*.)

Hm. Yeah. Oprah=triggery.

[bodhibird.livejournal.com]

Josh Groban Christmas CD = thoughts of death.

[rolls around on floor with mirth]

[aberrant1.livejournal.com]

Wow.

I wish I had the words to express my utter astonishment that anyone would buy any of this crap. Or that enough people thought these things were good ideas to make them in the first place.

Seriously, don't companies have a person with, like, a fifth-grade education whose sole job is to step in and say, "No. This sucks." before an idea goes into mass production?

If not, every corporation needs one. I'd like to put forth my qualifications as a bad-idea detector. If I, who have spent the last two months applying for work that could be described as "Nomadic Arsonist", think something is a bad idea, chances are it's a fucking bad idea.

[averysmallthing.livejournal.com]

My favorite is the refrigerator/TV. There are times in my life I would have loved to have had that installed in my bedroom.

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

But why stop there? Why not a TV-fridge-microwave-barcalounger? So you'd never have to leave you coccoon!

[averysmallthing.livejournal.com]

Just install the Internet on that baby, and I'd be all set!

[dwinghy.livejournal.com]

I'm imagining Oprah sitting around with her friends, laughing her ass off as they go through a catalog of terrible, expensive products for this list, because they know that no matter how awful a pantsuit is, there will be women gullible enough to buy it and wear it if Oprah says she likes it. "Oh, no really, it's very flattering! And what beautiful colours! You should buy an outfit in each colour." she says, before erupting into a coughing fit to disguise her laughter.
In my imagination Oprah is very mean. :(

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Those....pantsuits....ohmygod! Who in gods name thinks that's attractive? It truly is like saying I never want to have sex again.

And the Josh Groban CD. It's a muzak suicide note. (Josh Groban, pre-muzaked for your convience.)

[kosher-jenny.livejournal.com]

When I was in HS I was on the colorguard team and the song we used for our winter routine was a duet with Josh Groban and some other lady. This meant that we had to listen to it over and over and over again.

I quit the following year.


Also, those track suits of the damned look like they belong in Logan's Run or something.

[telesilla.livejournal.com]

As a housewife, I've just gotta say that the first person to give me a gift basket of cleaning products gets their fucking face ripped off.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I...I can't imagine that being an appropriate gift for anyone, unless they've just had a house fire.