(no subject)

[phosfate]

Took advantage of the thousand-degree heat to wash the mattress pad and hang it outside. Which worked. Then re-made the bed with nice new sheets out of the linen closet*. The bottom sheet (you know, the elastic thing with the corners) was a bit stubborn, but I got three corners down and tucked. But the last corner... Well, I'm pulling and pulling and I figure it must've shrunk somehow the last time I washed it. But I've nearly got it. Nearly. Just...one...more...REALLY GOOD TUG!

Then I realize I've got the corner with the tag on it, and I read the tag. Did you know sheet tags have their sizes printed on them? I sure didn't.

This one said: TWIN.

But BY GOD, if I'd had, like, Dr Tectonic or Sharon or somebody there with just a liiiiiiiiittle bit more upper body strength, that mofo would've fit on the mattress.

Then, in the middle of the night, it would've snapped the whole thing in half and I'd still be trapped.



*It is also the iron closet, the dustmop closet, and the ugly Christmas decorations that are too high to reach and throw out closet.

Comments

[finabair.livejournal.com]

It is also the iron closet

Is that like Iron Chef?

[random-nexus.livejournal.com]

Swiss Army Closet FTW! \o/

I'm picturing that bottom sheet snapping and rolling you up in it like they show window shades doing in the cartoons. Zip-flip-flip-flip! "MMF! Hmmp! Lmmmhmmt! Hlo?"

Oh, yeah. Good times.
;D

[thistlethorn.livejournal.com]

I'm amazed you got *3* corners on there.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Now that you mention it, so am I.

[dr-tectonic.livejournal.com]

I will be happy to loan you my upper body strength anytime you need it. Just bring your mattress and undersized sheets over to my place... /helpful

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

This is gonna take a lot of bungee cord.

[ashenmote.livejournal.com]

Then, in the middle of the night, it would've snapped the whole thing in half and I'd still be trapped.

That's the ones with "Grimtooth's Traps" and one skull printed on the label.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I should never have bought Weasley's Wheezes brand sheets.

This is what the heat has forced you to do

[viedma.livejournal.com]

somebody there with just a liiiiiiiiittle bit more upper body strength, that mofo would've fit on the mattress

I hear you can make black holes the same way, if you're all out of "red matter."

Re: This is what the heat has forced you to do

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I've just realized that the galaxy's principle source for Red Matter is lava lamps.

[wolfy-writing.livejournal.com]

Wow, you're strong! There really needs to be an action-figure version of you. And lots of tiny plastic squirrels for you to fight.