tormented by owls

[phosfate]

One of the most shocking things I remember seeing as a child was a panel of a comic strip in the National Lampoon, depicting Michael O'Donoghue beating an owl to death with a hammer. It completely terrified me - he was wearing a three-piece suit and tie, and there was owl blood everywhere. It was one of the things that helped make me his fan for life. (My life, as things turned out, but that's another story.)

Today, I understand cartoon-Michael's motivation.

We have owls. In the trees. By my bedroom window.

Owls, as I'm sure they told in you school, are nocturnal.

What they didn't tell you is that owls like to friggin' CONVERSE at 2:30 in the morning when decent, hard-working people are trying to sleep.

Owls should die.

Comments

uh...

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

train them to deliver mail?

Re: uh...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I have a hammer of my own, little missey...

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

I always loved Mr. Mike. His bedtime stories just were the best. I went through a whole period of writing where everything I wrote, regardless of genre, ended in violent traumatic yet ironic death. LOL We have crows and songbirds around here. They start cawing/singing at 3 am. Could you please pass me the hammer after you're done with the owls please?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Songbirds I don't mind - I don't even hear them, except for that fucking mourning dove with the stutter. The local crows can be loud, but usually confine themselves to daylight hours, and often content themselves with merely carrying off the smallest neighborhood children. Plus they clean up the dead squirrels.

Re:

[ragdoll.livejournal.com]

Here the damn birds start before the sun rises and keep on going. Considering I sleep next to a window, the last thing I want to hear at 3 or 4 am (even though I'm generally awake) is tweet tweet tweet. LOL

THE OWLS ARE NOT WHAT THEY SEEM.....

[(Anonymous)]

...but sometimes their arms bend back. Garmonbozia!

That gum you like is coming back in style.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Lauuuuuura! Lauuuuuuuuura!!!

[finabair.livejournal.com]

I used to love to sit in bed at night listening to the owls at 3 am. 'course I usually didn't get to bed 'til 4 am most of the time back then, and I'd sleep 'til 11 am, so...y'know...not so obnoxious, then. But I think they were there when I had to get to sleep earlier and I just learned to sleep through 'em. They're a very home-y sound to me.

I'm actually jealous of you having owls outside your windows. You could send 'em here if you wanted to. ::wistful look::

Would you like me to just take a hammer to my own head? I know I've got one around here somewhere...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

They've moved on again. I should be torment-free until spring.