(no subject)

[phosfate]

Uber driver: So how was your day?
Me: Oh fine. As long as I get home and the house isn't a burning crater, it'll be great. If it is a crater, I may need to keep you on for a few more minutes.
Uber driver: Oh, you have kids?
Me: *busts up laughing* Um, no, and for several reasons if I get home and there are kids, it will be a huge surprise.
Uber driver: Oh, I thought you meant...
Me: No, I was thinking, like, asteroid. If there's a kid there, can you help me take it to the firehouse?
Uber driver: I can.
Me: Awesome. "Billy, c'mon, we're going to the firehouse." "My name's not Billy! I'm a girl!" "I don't actually care, Billy." Although there are girl Billys. Billie Burke came out okay.
Uber Driver: Billy Jo.
Me: No, he jumped off the Tallahatchee Bridge!
Uber Driver: No, my friend Billy Jo is a girl.
Me: OH! Sorry, Billy Jo.
Uber Driver: It's okay. She won't care.
Me: It's just I'm unbelievably old so that's the first place I went.
Uber Driver: I got you.
Me: You want to hear my opinion about Herman's Hermits?
Uber driver; OH LOOK WE'RE HERE!
Me: Freddy and the Dreamers?
Uber driver: I'll pop the trunk for you.
Me: Thanks. I don't see a kid, I think we're okay.

Comments

[nonelvis]

I sure hope that driver rated you five stars for this.

[phosfate]

Wait, they rate us?

[nonelvis]

I think they can, at least for the ride app -- not sure about the food part of things.

[phosfate]

I guess I better stop puking in their cars, then.

(Actually my only issue is I sometimes grab a refill soda to take home, but I always ask if it's okay to bring it in the car because I wasn't raised by wolves.)

[crantz]

Aye, when we were using them in Toronto the guy driving us was like 'how do you have 5 stars??? Oh you're new."

Mom: "And we tip extra"

Him: "oooh!"

[phosfate]

God I like so much that it uses Paypal so I don't have to have fucking cash.

[crantz]

I enjoy knowing ahead of time too.

[phosfate]

Me too, though most cab apps will tell you that. I hate taxi stands, I always get fucked over.

[crantz]

See, this is why you're my Fun friend

[phosfate]

Yeah, I've noticed you don't mind that I'm deeply wrong inside, and I'm grateful for that.

[crantz]

It's a feature, not a bug.

[phosfate]

Yay, someone thinks so.

[crantz]

And I'm always right!