Blood in the Afternoon

[phosfate]

...so I'm home with (er, sorry) Unbelievably Painful Menstrual Cramps[TM], and all I've been able to think about all day is that it's a good thing that men don't menstruate. Because there would be an entire volume of friggin' Hemingway short stories detailing the purifying masculine nobility that is the cyclical exposure to blood and agonizing pain. Set in Spain, of course. Nobody needs that kind of bullshit.

Go with God, my friends.

Comments

[bratbitch.livejournal.com]

ROFLMFAO

too true!

*hands you painkillers and a hot water bottle and a nerf bat the bludgeon annoyances with*

hope you feel better soon....

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Awww, thanks, I'm cool. Instead of a hot-water bottle, I employ a large and cooperative bear called Bramwell, who is not only toasty, but has never, ever wet on me.

Not to mention...

[darqstar.livejournal.com]

That we'd have protection that really worked all the time. And every single business would close down for three to five days a month, because we couldn't even begin to expect men to function with this terrible pain.

Todd asked me once, why I got so darned cranky about day 28 and I said, "Well, honeybuns, just imagine that every twenty eight days, like clockwork, your head begins to ache as if it would split open. Now, as you're dealing with this, sugarbear, imagine that deep inside your gut, you have a hornet's nest that normally is pretty quiet. Now, loverboy, as you're trying to rid yourself of the headache, someone comes along and kicks you in the gut as hard as they can. So, poohbear, while you're dealing with the headache, and the slam to your gut, guess what, lamb lips? The hornets just got stirred up and are stinging the crap out of you. Now, my widdle cuddybunny, do you fully understand that if you ask that question one more freaking time, I will wip 'our widdle penis off and shove it up your ass?"

He took a very long walk and returned with a 12 pack of Diet Pepsi, a huge bag of Dove Promises and a container of Ben and Jerry's. He rocks.

Re: Not to mention...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

If anyone asks me, I usually tell them to imagine a really big pineapple, wrapped in barbed wire, and then shoved into their rectum.

Re: Not to mention...

[bratbitch.livejournal.com]

I just feel the need to say this ... you rock!
(and thats in a good way ... not as in I'm going to throw rocks at you)

you and darqstar have managed to make my crappy arvo at home alone muchly fun :>

Re: Not to mention...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww... ^_^ Tu es tres sympa.

Qu'est-ce que c'est un 'arvo?'

Re: Not to mention...

[bratbitch.livejournal.com]

*IF* you are asking what I think you are asking -

arvo = afternoon...

if not... parle vous anglais?

Re: Not to mention...

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Merci beacoup!

Re: Not to mention...

[bratbitch.livejournal.com]

woooo

**does the happy Homer impersonation**

"I am so smart, I am so smart.. s m r t.. umm.. s m A r t.. I am so smart.."

hehe

(easily amused after 8 hours at work!)