phosfate: Ouroboros painting closeup (Default)
[personal profile] phosfate
THEY KEEP KILLING CHOMSKY!!!

[livejournal.com profile] cybertardis, for reasons I still don't quite fathom, took an instant dislike to poor Chomsky. Shortly after they met, Chompers met with an unfortunate rash of accidental horrible graphic suicides.

1 (not pictured): stabbed herself to death with an large ornamental dagger which Cybertardis had coincidentally just bought in the dealer's room. Left a note blaming her act on karaoke. Gretchen: "I suspect foul play. That's not her handwriting." Ann: "And there's no 'p' in 'Chomsky'."

2 (Upper left): Hangs self with Cybertardis' leather belt on inside of bathroom door. Spelling has improved.

3 (top center): The police are called in. They can't spell, either.

4 (upper right): Accidentally hog-ties self with own kerchief during art auction.

5 (bottom center): 'Chomsky Hearst,' or Tanya as she's now called, accidentally blindfolds self with own kerchief, ties self up with Gryffindor scarf during art auction.

6 (center center): Found in hotel room with plastic bag over head, in apparent attempt at autoerotic asphyxiation. Lack of genitalia and respiratory function make this effort particularly unconvincing.

Chomsky Sauron is currently recuperating at her home in Nebraska.

Stuffie brutality

Date: 2002-06-03 10:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roxann-ireland.livejournal.com
When I was at camp, the counselor (17 years old) had a sock monkey she'd slept with every night since she'd come home from the hospital as a newborn. One night, she came back to the cabin and found Sock Monkey hung from the top bunk with a suicide note on his chest stating that he felt the relationship was smothering him and he couldn't find any other way out.

Re: Stuffie brutality

Date: 2002-06-04 06:11 am (UTC)
ext_6373: A swan and a ballerina from an old children's book about ballet, captioned SWAN! (Default)
From: [identity profile] annlarimer.livejournal.com
To be fair, sock monkeys are notoriously unstable...

Re: Stuffie brutality

Date: 2002-06-04 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roxann-ireland.livejournal.com
"*Sob!* We thought he just had a loose thread, no big deal, but then he--*choke*--He came completely unraveled!*sobsobsob!*"

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