Oh, fuck you, you fucking fuck.

[phosfate]

So I'm walking around, minding my own business, looking at the buildings and stuff, like you do. And this...gentleman, with a somewhat googly expression and a large collection of plastic bags suddenly feels an irresistible compulsion to tell me:

"SMILE! You'll feel better."

And I'm thinking, Jesus, bite me you stupid misogynistic flea-bitten dick, what'd I ever do to you and where do you get off telling me how to look fucking fuck shit fuck etc. But instead I said:

"No!"

Thanks for ruining my walk, asshole.

Comments

[thornsilver]

I have no idea why men feel compelled to say that. I usually made a great show of smiling mechanically while giving them "Die, now!" glare. It doesn't help, but it makes me feel better and prevents me from kicking them in the shins.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, he appeared to be somewhat mentally disabled, so it would've been like taking a machete to a dachsund.

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Awwww. No matter how few mental resources this guy has, he can still express his gender superiority to you--it's kind of heart-warming, really. Aren't you glad our second-class gender status can give someone else such feelings of self-worth? :-P

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Not smiling is unwomanly. Are guns expensive?

[ahli.livejournal.com]

That happens to me all the time!!!!! Except it's usually a homeless person who says it to me, so I am physically incapable of getting angry, then. :(

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Beating homeless people is wrong.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

No, but they're noisy.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Sez you.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Okay, so I'm really, really cranky today.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

How expensive?

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

I've been know to simply glare daggers at people who say that to me or smile with sickening cheerfulness and say "fuck you". Depends on my mood. And how successful I am at holding back the urge to beat them bloody.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Under $30 if you get them at a gun show or pawn shop.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Hm.

Nah. By the time the waiting period's over, I won't be able to find him.

[jeff-morris.livejournal.com]

Look at the bright side. He didn't tell you that he'd been robbed and could you spare a few grand for a new laptop?

JSM

[saskia139.livejournal.com]

You made me laugh so loudly with this that my girl cockatiel started calling. She wants in on the joke, but I don't think I can explain it to her--if human brains can't grasp CC, hers doesn't have a chance.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Waiting period? Not at a gunshow. But I guess there's never one when you need them. (I hear you can always get a cheap gun at Walmart. "Lower prices everyday.")

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

*sprays monitor with Diet Pepsi*

Ow. Owie.

[suzyd.livejournal.com]

Don't blame him - it was the delivery, not the message that was lacking. Take me, for example. I'd say "SMILE! Or I'll kill you and defile the corpse. Twice!". See... wasn't that better? ;)

[ymfaery]

*snickersnort*

You are EVIL. But we knew that already.

[lots42.livejournal.com]

Walmart: We sell guns, but not CDs with the word 'Fuck'.

[nitasee.livejournal.com]

Because we all know how dangerous a word like that would be in the wrong hands.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Yes. But it still depends on your line reading.

[suzyd.livejournal.com]

Hmm. How about with a fixed manic grin, and a lustily hoarse tone on "kill" and "defile"? ;)