you've RUINED HALLOWEEN!

[phosfate]

Halloween here was very cold, but we still got a few kids. Older ones who could go outside without dying.

I can't quite get my patter right. "Hello there, Spectre of Death! Hello, Scary Pirate!" Also shrieked, "NO! Jeez, you'll burn yourself!" at a Dad who picked up his son's lightsaber by the blade. It's odd to feel a kid looking at you funny from behind a Darth Vader helmet. But they got candy and soft toys, so they didn't complain. (I save unopened fast-food toys and minis to hand out. They're always the first to go.)

Now the candy goes in the freezer, and I get my work basket back.

This wasn't one of the classics. No night of screaming with Sharon and Susan, no theatre full of teenagers watching Halloween or Rocky Horror, no running home shrieking in terror (and lapping Dad!) when some fucker answers the door via intercom: "Whoooooo's therrrrrrre? WHOOOOOOOOO'S THERRRRRRRRRE???" But that's okay. Even a dullish Halloween is good. I felt a positively Dickensian flood of holiday spirit.

Or Burtonian. Whatever.

There was also a kid in Target wearing a full-body Stitch suit, the spacesuit with the extra arms dangling on fishing line. Awesome. His poor baby sister was, humiliatingly, dressed as Piglet. Her folks will show her dates photos of this in 15 years, eventually driving her to the Greyhound station and a life of dissipated prostitution on the Sunset Strip. Parents, for the love of God, think about what you're doing!

My own childhood costumes, once I was big enough to have a say in them, sucked. This was, I think, because I insisted on making them and hadn't a clue what I was doing. This has continued into adulthood, including yesterday's black sequined devil tail, which kept dropping off as though I were a panicky lizard. The only success I can recall was the time when I improvised three bullet wounds to the forehead, done in El Marko at the office. Should you ever want to try it, the key is shading the holes properly to show you've drilled through a centimeter of skull.

I...um...I seem to have wandered off my topic a bit. My point is, I hope you had a happy Halloween, and please enjoy your Crazy Mexican Dead People Christmas.

Comments

[amanda-now.livejournal.com]

Venture Brothers quote, yes!

[ex-adarog.livejournal.com]

We had unseasonably warm temps yesterday, like, in the low seventies. I hate it when Halloween is warm. But it didn't stop the gay couple down the block from putting out still more decorations, including a big inflated purple spider with glowy eyes. I patted its head.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I prefer a just-right Halloween, but warm is better than the fabled thundersnow ice storm we had a decade or so back. Nobody could leave their powerless homes, Halloween was cancelled, and every street was clogged with ice-encrusted tree limbs.

No, wait -- that was actually pretty cool. Never mind.

[hawkmoth.livejournal.com]

It was warmish, and a bit rainy, but as usual we had only two kids at the door (there may have been more younger ones out while Meghan was at church); surprisingly there weren't any bands of teens looking for loot.

The best thing I saw was at work--the children's librarian was handing out books and candy so families came in big bunches. Lots ot fairy princesses, witches and various cartoon characters. Highlight was the family that came as the Scoobies, minus a Daphne. Two youngest boys were Scrappy and Scooby, oldest boy was a junoir Shaggy, Mom was Velma and Dad was Fred in a truly scary blond wig.

I remember the year we were bold and went to the far side of our big out-in-the-sticks development and one dad sat in a box and handed out candy as if he were Thing (and as this was probably while Addams Family was on the air, it was ultra-cool).

[brouhaha.livejournal.com]

*dead* I love your entries. Just so y'know.

I had a very boring Halloween, sadly. Well, there was the mass public display of nudity, but that's old hat here in college. (Although it definitely qualifies as scary.)

[ex-londonso.livejournal.com]

I've always wished for trick or treaters. Nobody ever turns up. A few days ago we were standing on the street eating ice creams when some midget child like thing ran up to us in a hideous mask and screamed 'TRICK OR TREAT!!' I gave it 20p and then it asked a homeless guy. And then a dark figure emerged from around the corner and picked the child up kicking and screaming and spirited it away. I don't think London has quite figured out Halloween yet.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

It's changed since I was little. We used to swarm all over the neighborhood, and no house could get through the evening with fewer than three giant bags of Fun-Size Snickers. Sadly, American parents have been brainwashed into thinking that any child left unattended for three minutes will be abducted, raped, and left to die in a boxcar at the fairgrounds. Kids are taken to shopping malls to trick-or-treat, where they are given sugarless candy and plastic bookmarks. *weepz*

[ex-londonso.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that does sound fun. Like in the movies, seriously. It always looks so fun in those (except for ones where a crazed axe murderer kills everyone on Halloween or something).

Oh, there are so many horrors these days. If your children aren't being molested by the leagues of paedophiles stalking the neighbourhood, then the online branch of paedophiles are tempting them into corruption via MySpace. Everybody should just stop having children altogether. Then again there's all the other dangers: 'TONIGHT, HOW THE WATER YOU DRINK COULD BE GIVING YOU A RARE AND UNTREATABLE HEART DISEASE. WE HEAR FROM ONE OKLAHOMA WOMAN WHOSE HUSBAND IMPLODED BEFORE HER VERY EYES... 'He was just sitting there, drinking some water, and all of a sudden, oh God...' or 'ARE YOUR PETS SAFE? THE CRAZED SATANISTS WHO WANT TO STEAL THEM, EAT THEM AND GROW FAT ON THEIR BLOOD' or 'WHAT PHONE COMPANIES DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW: THEY'RE READING YOUR THOUGHTS, AND THEY KNOW YOU HAVE A FETISH FOR BALLERINAS' etcetc.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I love you madly.

[ex-londonso.livejournal.com]

And I you x

[viedma.livejournal.com]

I can't get my patter right either-- I want to admire costumes, but there's candy to give so fork it over, dammit! Anyhoo.

Best Halloween prezzie ever? Finding out Sasha Baron Kitty got adopted, huzzah!! I went to the Humane Society page and he ain't there no mo. According to them, any cat who was featured there but isn't there now got a home. *beams*

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Oh, hurray for that! I am happy now. I have never met a kitty more deserving of a loving home. (Or maybe his original family finally thought to, y'know, actually GO LOOK FOR HIM. Dumbasses.)

[theodicy.livejournal.com]

Now the candy goes in the freezer

What...whatwhatwhatWHAT?

You're supposed to CHUG it.

:stares hard at Ann:

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey, have you ever tried to get chocolate vomit out of wool carpeting?

On the other hand, I have that new stain spray stuff that works a treat...

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

I wish more kids trick-or-treated in our neighborhoods. We had four the whole evening, and the brother-in-law put up his collection of skulls as decorations too.

[jume.livejournal.com]

I'll be celebrating crazy mexican dead people day tomorrow in spanish class!

I miss All Soul's Day :( I want my french class ;.; and my vodou!

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Rip-off! All we ever got was a vague nod at the Poisson d'Avril.

[thelowkeyloki.livejournal.com]

Nice use of Venture Brothers.

Don't drink in front of a shrine dedicated to your drugged out bodyguard, otherwise, bad things will happen.

But I'm sure you know that. n_n