hey beorn! here's your lap dance!

I stayed up all night researching and making the costume. Here goes:

Ann enters, dressed in heavily-embroidered hide trousers and parka, decorated with bells. The parka is topped with antlers. She holds a wooden rattle covered in sleigh bells in each hand.

The dance begins:

We've got reindeer, yes we do!
We've got reindeer, how about YOU?
Two-four-six-eight!
Who do we appreciate?
Whooo! Reindeer!
Whooo! Reindeer!
REINDEER!!!

::does the splits, brandishing rattles high::

There ya go. And I don't do that for just anyone.

::exits::

: /

Something, somewhere is making me very, very nervous, and I am enjoying cascading panic attacks. Jump at every noise. Well, the jumpy noises, anyway. Terrified of human interaction more complicated than, "Oh, I don't need a bag for it, thanks."

Books: Finished The Invisible Man. Mr Wells' sense of humor is so dry you could crumble it up and put it in your suitcases to keep mold away. Started The Book of Lost Tales (apparently they've been found), The Marvelous Land of Snergs. Cannot find the patience for David Copperfield, would like to hit him with a skillet. Finished the lovely Clover.

Am considering clawing own skin off, will probably decide against it.

State of Nebraska sent me a tax refund within a week of filing. It will cover approximately half of what I owe to the Federal government. Not bad, actually, albeit puzzling.

Trees are enjoying themselves, murmuring green, green, green and pumping out the leaves. Even the moss is frisky. Bloody typical. Plant life is having more fun than me.

Made Chomsky the bear a little alphabet necklace that says CHOMSKY SAURON. Recently acquired a handsome, cranky burnt-grey bear who does not yet have a necklace that says FETUS MELKOR, becuase the bead packers neglected to provide any examples of the letter F. To quote Frodo: Fuckers.

o_o

::stares at you unblinkingly::

paging frank black

Spider-Man just said: "It's my gift; it's my curse."

::dies laughing::

>_

::beats Chris Carter to death with a frozen haddock::