in the shire

[phosfate]

::hits looters with shovel::

Bad looters! Bad! Stop it!

Comments

[farmermaggot.livejournal.com]

Eh, good job, young lady. Ye be wantin' a little help? Here, meet th' puppies, so they know ye!

An' if'n ye see any o' th' others, lemme know? Can't find sever'l unner all th' cheese.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

Neat! Thanks, Farmer M!

Hello, big giant vicious doggies! Hello! Oooooooooo, who's a pretty boy then, eh? Who's a pretty pretty buzzsaw girl on four legs? Is it you? Is it you? Kisskisskisskisskiss...

Ooo, cheese breath! Okay, fellas, let's go hunt us some lobster. Uh, looter.

[pallando.livejournal.com]

If the puppies were outside, it is very unlikely they survived... Let me see if I can help.

*Searches for signs of recent doggy-life. Finds some. Mutters chant, waves staff.

A pack of large, snarling dogs appears.

Searches for more life. Finds it. Repeats the chant and wave. Another, equally menacing pack arrive.*

Hmmm... these animals seem very agitated. I could make them more... calm, if you want?

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

::throws new dogs bits of soothing cheese::

Might be a good idea...

[farmermaggot.livejournal.com]

Uh...yeh, I'm thinkin' summat calm might be in order. Not too calm, mind ye, or they'll be useless when th' next looter comes 'long.

Y'got any o' that calm-juice fer a few hysterical Proudfeet? I kin hear 'em yellin' all th' way inside th' house.

[annlarimer.livejournal.com]

I gotta say, Farmer M, you keep good, healthy doggies. Nice white teeth. Pointy.

[farmermaggot.livejournal.com]

Yeh, y'gotta make sure they get plenny t' chew on. Fort'nately fer me, them folks what steal my crops like t' leave 'em plenny o' things fer them t' chew on.

It'd prolly cost 'em heaps less t' jes buy th' food an' not hafta replace all th' clothing an' leather an' stuff they leave behind. But it's less work an' less t' buy fer me!

[pallando.livejournal.com]

Okay....

Calm but not mellow.

*mutters under breath. Dogs still look alert but now longer look like they are going to kill everyone..*

That should do it.